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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Talking to Mom and cutting the cord

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Author Topic: Talking to Mom and cutting the cord
Member # 43792

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Let me just say that my mom and I have a great relationship. We talk about everything. Except sex. I'm almost 20 years old, and I know I'm still her baby. I'm staying with her and my sister for the summer, but back at college I have my own apartment. My boyfriend of one year (a friend for two before) has already stayed at my apartment a couple of times and although my mom didn't make a big deal about it she told me straight out that she wasn't okay with it.

She knows I'm very independent (she raised me that way) but it's not like I can do whatever the hell I want while living under the same roof as her; I have to be considerate of my mom's feelings and worries. Point being that I want to go on a one day vacation with my boyfriend out of town and I don't know how to tell her. My sister is 28 and wants to do the same, but we still feel uncomfortable talking about it.

"A bird may love a fish, signore, but where will they live?"
"Then I shall have to make you wings."

Posts: 1 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I do think that while, by all means, it's important to be considerate of those we care about, a trip somewhere outside her roof with your boyfriend at 20 isn't something you need to feel your have your mother's permission for or approval of.

So, I'd approach a talk with her coming to it from that kind of understanding. You can certainly express to her that you know or understand she isn't in agreement with you about things like your boyfriend spending the night, but that you are going to take a trip with him, wanted her to know about that, and hope she can be supportive, even if she isn't in agreement.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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