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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Is it time to break up? *sniff*sniff*

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Author Topic: Is it time to break up? *sniff*sniff*
CallMeBuffChick
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Well, I'm really hurt right now. I don't know what to do! Things were so perfect when we first started dating. I don't know what had happened. He works to much. He goes in after school and gets off late. Tonight her was off and I was going to call him after the bball game so I could talk about us, but no he had to go to a friends house to drink. He didn't even say goodbye. I'm just really confussed. I don't know if he likes me anymore. It sucks. My bestfriend is telling me to break up with him but I don't want to! I still very care for him. It's hard. I never see him anymore What's the piont of our relationship anymore!!! I don't know what to do.....

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~*~Buff Chick~*~
*kiss*kiss* to my Karamel Kid! :)

"No one can stop you from who you love and the one love is who you love."

"Never frown because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile."

Watch out! I'm a awful speller. *hehe*


Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
XxFIFxX
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You need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and don't get pushed around like this. I know how it feels and it sucks. Don't let yourself feel anymore pain. Once you tell him, 2 things can happen, he will try to change and hopefully things will work out, or things will stay the same. Then it's up to you-- do you want to continue putting up with this? There are so many other guys out there, really. I know it seems like you'll never get over him, but as the cliche goes, time does heal all wounds. Just do what feels right in your heart

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*I wish I didn't care, but I do*


Posts: 62 | From: Los Angeles, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
entropie
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You know, I was in the same situation, and it caused me a whole lot of heartache. He changed into someone who was distant and seeimly uncaring.. hardly ever called me, didn't seem to make an effort..

And I'm sorry to say this, but there really isn't a quick fix for these sorts of situations. After a lot of analysing of myself and of him, I came to realise something which is quite simple. People change. When you were first in your relationship, you had the NRE (New Relationship Energy) which made things seem perfect.. you let the small things slip, because it was all new and exciting, and now you've come to a point where you're both expecting different things out of the relationship. You're both changing into different people, and when you're young, it's hard (but not impossible) to grow with someone, because everything happens rapidly and uncontrollably!

The way that things worked out with me and my ex, was that in the end we both realised that it comes down to compromise and no expectations. If you try to keep things the way that they are, or change them into something they're not, it just ain't going to work out. Because you can never expect someone to stay the same, or be who you want them to be.

I suggest you talk to him about this, tell him how you're feeling, and explain how his actions affect you.

Sometimes it's just best to let these things go. I had to break up with my boyfriend, even though I loved him, and still do. We grew too far apart, and we both changed too much.. it would have been harder on both of us to stay together.

It's up to you what you do.. hope this has helped slightly! Sorry for ranting!

love,
entropie

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honeylaser's site


Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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I always believe that when every relationship starts, there is always what I call a 'honeymoon' stage. Where everything is perfect and beautiful and everybody is happy.

Soon things can start to settle into a routine and you get used to each other. And that's when things seem to go 'wrong'.

Hon, maybe you should just talk to him. I'm sure you've gone through quite alot together and to break up without even trying things out doesn't make much sense.

Just talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. It's possible that he didn't even realise that he was hurting your feelings. And maybe he just needed to spend some time with his friends since you say he works so much.

So just talk to him and see how things go ok hon? Dun cry. Cheer up. *hugs*


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CallMeBuffChick
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I love you guys! You're so supportive! *hugs to everyone*

Anyways, I'm going to try to call him today. Like I said he went drinking--ick--last night so he'll probabl have a hang over and not feel like talking or he'll sleep in till time for him to go to work. If I don't talk to him today, I'll try my very best to pull him out of study hall or take him away during lunch.

Lin I think you're right, I don't think he realise this is hurting me. I'll be sure that is the first thing I tell him. But right now I think it's time to talk to my Mandingo. They're best friends, maybe he'll know what's going on with him. *crosses fingers*

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~*~Buff Chick~*~
*kiss*kiss* to my Karamel Kid! :)

"No one can stop you from who you love and the one love is who you love."

"Never frown because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile."

Watch out! I'm a awful speller. *hehe*


Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CallMeBuffChick
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Ok I just got off the phone with Mandingo, he's the greatest. Well we were talking about my b/f and he told me all this stuff how he misses his single life (so do i!) and that he thinks he's going to let me go soon and Mandingo went off on him about how I'm not a toy and stuff and that he could've have had me but instead he hooked us up thinking that he liked me just at much as I liked him, is this making sence?, but then Mandingo got into how I need to mess with his head alitte and that I need to get known. I need to let they guys at the school know how sexee I am. I need to get more guy friends because that'll make my b/f alittle jelouse. Then he got into us but I really don't want to discuss that right now unless you really want to know give me a buzz. But anyways, I still haven't talk to my b/f yet. I think I'll go do that now....

(Did any of that make sense??)

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~*~Buff Chick~*~
*kiss*kiss* to my Karamel Kid! :)

"No one can stop you from who you love and the one love is who you love."

"Never frown because you never know when someone is falling in love with your smile."

Watch out! I'm a awful speller. *hehe*


Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Head games that involve jealousy = bad.

Really, that isn't fair, it isn't nice, and it isn't very self-respecting, either, Buff.

Don't play games with your guy or anyone else: just talk to him like a big girl. Game-playing isn't something that helps any relationship, and it's likely to come back and bite you right on the tush in ways you least expected it too (like, for instance, making your boyfriend think you're flirting with others because you're ready to move on).

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


Posts: 67996 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CallMeBuffChick
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Yeah I know it's a bad idea. I'm just going to talk with him.
Posts: 433 | From: Wichita, Ks | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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