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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I need advice...

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Author Topic: I need advice...
SweetChic86
Neophyte
Member # 889

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Ok. Here is the dealio. One of my close friends recently starting having intercourse. The first time it was with a guy who she had know for 5 days. He was 17 and she is 13. The second was with another guy she had only knew for a little while. He was 19. Both times it was unprotected. I knew both guys were players, and I tried to tell her that, but she wouldn't listen. They played her, got sum, and left. She came to me crying and I tried to give her the best advice I could both times, but I don't think she listened. She is scared she might have an STD or be pregnant. She jes got a new boyfriend, and I don't want her to go through this again. I hate seeing her get hurt, and it is scary for me to think my friend might become a mother at 13. Do you have any advice on what I can tell her? I really wanna help, cuz I know she will mess up her life, but I don't want her to feel like I am trying to run her life. Thanx
Posts: 11 | From: Alabama , U.S.A | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ErinK
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1371

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The best thing you can tell her, or help her to do, is to get to a gynecologist so that she can get a pregnancy test and an STD screen. The gynecologist can also talk to her about her options for birth control and protecting herself from STDs and STIs.

If she doesn't want to talk to her parents or guardians about seeing a gynecologist, she can go to Planned Parenthood. You can visit their website at http://www.plannedparenthood.org to see if there is a clinic available in your area.

If you need help convincing her that this is necessary, you might want to show her some of the articles here at Scarleteen, or invite her to come to the boards and ask us questions and get support. You're doing a good job by her by wanting to support her, and you should be proud of that.

Good luck!

Erin


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karina582
Neophyte
Member # 2181

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Well, the first thing to do is-if she is extremely afraid of getting preganant-a pregnancy test might do the trick. I know that you don't wanna run your friend's life for her, but the trick here is to get your friend to realize that she is not alone in this and you are there to help her out. At this point she is probably freaked out about the possibilities of pregnancy and STDs. To realieve that tension and stress-go to a store and grab a pregnancy test. I bought mine for $12 and Miz Scarlet said that some are about $6. (After taking the pregnancy test-DO YOU KNOW WHAT a relief it was?! Yes-it was a relief!) The next step is to maybe go to the gyn. I know it's kinda hard for a 13 year old to go to a gyn-esspecialy without mommy around...but whatever way she can-go to a gyn and get check up for possible STDs. If she is anything like me-I freak out about going to a gyn and I refuse to go. period. So I go to the STD symtomp webpage here at scarleteen-(look it up in search) and check up my symptoms and they even tell you what you can do to make it better. That is the worst way you can ever deal with STDs and I DO NOT recommend it-but if she is fully uncomfortable about going to a gyn or a clinic...at least she is able to check up on what she possiblly have and see if anything can be done before it gets worst. Remember that prevention is the key-condoms are a few bucks-and if the guys refuse to put it on-maybe those are the guys she shouldn't be sleeping with then.... Good Luck!!

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"Mistakes are lessons of wisdom"-Mariott Hotel Freeway Sign

Posts: 38 | From: Irvine, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
Activist
Member # 2050

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First thing you do, get her checked out for STDs and pregnancy.

After that, buy her a box of condoms and some lube and tell her to use them. Or ask her to get on birth control.

It's not anybody's position to preach and say that she shouldn't sleep around but tell her it is no joke being caught in a pregnancy scare or having a painfu STD.

Tell her she has to protect herself. Or send her here, we'll make sure she gets the message. Well...we could try.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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