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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What I know now

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Author Topic: What I know now
duffydolittle
Neophyte
Member # 2071

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Hey guys just wanna say That I have had a revalation, These are some things that I have concluded after dating dustin
* just because Im physicaly atracted to someone dosent mean I love them
* never date your friend It ends up all wrong
* If you know a guy has cheated on his other girlfriends , chances are he wont change for you.
* never fall in love to fast
* stay away from guys who are full of themselves
* never "promise" anything It leads to hurt feelings on both sides.
Just some things I learned ... anyone have any others?
Ps. you guys help me soo much I love you all
I walked around school today practically beaming,I felt so amazingly great. dustin looked shocked all I had to say to him was ..BOOOO yaaaa

Posts: 4 | From: nj | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'm glad things worked out for you.

Just remember that some of the things you're saying are wholly situational, and apply to certain situations -- not to all of them.

For instance, I really hope anyone any of you date or partner with are -- at the very least -- your friends. If however, you mean that going into a romantic or sexual situation as platonic friends who haven't discussed how shifting the relationship can change things, yes, that's often difficult.

But the truth of the matter is that for many of us, the older you get, the more, in fact, the people you do end up with are your friends first, and your sexual or romantic partners later. I know I married my best friend. Hanne has been with hers for years.

Too, people can agree to things and stick to them without hurting one another. IF -- bif if -- they're really ready to, and want to, do those things they are agreeing to.

More times than not, as long as we aren't talking about unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others, parables like these change from year to year and with every situation as you grow.

if I can promise you guys little else, what I can promise is that relating to other people does get a whole heck of a lot easier as you get older, cross my heart.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
unhappykoger
Activist
Member # 1514

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me and my husband started out as just good friends and we are happy being together and married with kids now. i do agree about the cheating though. most people dont change although if you are young some grow out of it.

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fairykoger@hotmail.com

http://www.angelfire.com/oh2/koger


Posts: 365 | From: dayton,ohio,u.s.a. | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
StarryRedhead
Activist
Member # 607

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I am happy to hear that you gained back so much confidence and learned a lot from what you've gone through. Remember that things you learn can contradict themselves. Like once I made the mistake of telling someone how I felt too soon, so the next guy I was with, I waited, and it turns out he found someone else because I took too long to tell him how I felt and he thought I didn't like him! I think the most valuable lessons you learn from bad situations are lessons about yourself. It teaches you more about you, and I think that's most important.

And I think being friends with the person you're with is often extremely important in a relationship. Right now I am with one of my best friends and it's great. We just made sure that we talked about what we were getting ourselves into. We discussed what will happen if things don't work out on a romantic level, we want to keep our friendship, because that's what we love most about being together. And we talk about everything else; what we want from this relationship, what we don't want, and most importantly how we feel.

It is good to see you're gone through something and are changing opinions about things, about yourself. I just went through a time like that and now am feeling so much happier and more confident with myself. I wish you the best!

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}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You flicker. And you're beautiful. You glow inside my head. You hold me hypnotized, I'm mesmerized..."
My Webpage-Alisons Life


Posts: 367 | From: NY, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
swtgrl4u
Neophyte
Member # 2114

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I agree w/Scarlet, alot of those things are true based on situation. But, one thing I have learned, from a relationship and from an old quote, It's okay to let yourself go, as long as you can find your way back. Never become so dependent on one person that they are your world and your existance and that you can't live w/o them. Of course if your in love w/someone they are going to be a big part of your life, but never let yourself become "theirs" so to speak, because that is when they take advantage, and then your heart is on risk of being broken! But I am glad to hear that everything worked out for you!

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*~*Kelli*~*

*~*We love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly*~*


Posts: 12 | From: Cleveland | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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