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Author Topic: My husband abused me
chapsticklovin
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Member # 45424

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My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and married for six months. The first year we had the most amazing relationship. No fights, no nothing... Just straight love. Second year he broke up with me over a dumb argument..and I went after him and we resolved it. During that second year we became engaged, and then married a year later. Marriage is hard and we fought (verbal) a lot during the first two months. I questioned a lot why I even married him from time to time.. As I'm sure he did too. But we know marriage is work and we love each other soo we stuck by it. But I noticed over the months our arguments are becoming worse. He has become verbally abusive. Calledme namesand we put me down by insulting my intelligence. Usually when he'd go off like that, I'd shut down and not respond to anything he'd say to me. The way we got over fights like that was by just moving on.never ever really saying "sorry" or talking about why we even fought. although one time I did sincerely come to him and told him how much he hurts me when he says those hurtful words. He apologized and promised never to do it again.

Last night we went to a family wedding and he started drinking and getting wild on the dance floor... I didn't want to mention anything or nag him to act more appropriate because then he'd complain that I won't even let him have fun. We were dancing and I had enough and wanted to sit down and he took my hand and swung me to try and do a dip but instead never caught me and I ended up being thrown on the floor in front of every one! I was humiliated! I was so furious with him, but instead of him trying to make me feel better and say he was sorry and through a fit and stormed out. He told me that he was going to sit in the car and wait for me until it was time to go home. I texted him a million times to come back and don't leave me alone at the table. Everyone started asking me where my husband was and I was becoming even more embarrassed. I decided to walk out to the car and talk to him only to find out he left me! and he wouldn't answer his phone..called and texted him a million times. The wedding was over and every one was leaving. I continuously kept trying to call and text him that I wanted to go home. An hour after everyone had left he calls me and asks where I am. He claimed that he had just got home from where ever he was. I asked where he went and he refused to tell me. I got a ride home from family. I got home and I was furious! Told him to leave the room and go sleep in the guest bedroom. He wouldn't go and I know I shouldn't have been so loud but I was hurt and embarrassed that he'd leave me in front of all of my family. I would never do that to him if we were with his family. He started calling me names again. And before I knew it he was up on his feet and I was yelling at him. He all of a sudden threw me on the floor.. I was trying to hold my self up andhe shoved me soo hard thata glass that was sitting on the counter fell and broke. I tried too get up again and he shoved me even harder to the floor and stood over me... He scared me soo much that the only thing I could think of doing was too scream. So I did and he backed off. I ran to my room and locked the door. He busted back in and attempted to goo to sleep and I was so upset, hurt and broken that I screamed for him to leave. He did and he didn't end up at his moms house. Idk where he went but I took his phone so I can't call him. Gee has work inn the morning so I'm sure he went to sleep inn his car at work.

Idk how to shake this off. I am so beyond hurt that he dots all that to me. I love him with every drop of blood in my body but Idk if we'll ever recover from this. Knowing my husband he'll NEVER apologize so I doubt this time to be any different. Idk what to do...why does love have to hurt so much... He has no respect or love for me if he thought that shoving me into the floor would be okay. I'm suppose to be his wife... He is suppose to be my husband. And we're broken... My marriage is out the window....

I really don't think he'll ever come back to me after I threw him out of our house.

Posts: 39 | From: Nevada | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi chapsticklovin

What a terrible night for you! are you injured at all from being thrown on the floor? If so, can you access medical care?

You are right: verbal and physical abuse are not expressions of love.

I'm concerned most about your safety right now. Do you have somewhere you can go or a friend you can call to spend some time with you?

I think you would find it helpful to read this article:

Blinders Off:Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

How can we help you be safe and make decisions that are right for you?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just being someone else to check in on you, chapsticklovin. As you know, I've been concerned about this person and this relationship for quite some time, and obviously now, my concern has seriously amplified.

There's a lot to talk about, and I know in the past you've been reluctant to consider separating yourself from this person, but I think it's very important you at least come up with a safety plan now, if you're not ready to start thinking about more permanent changes.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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