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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » resources in washington dc/arlington va

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Author Topic: resources in washington dc/arlington va
BobbyC
Neophyte
Member # 39969

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Hi,

I wanted to know if anybody knew of counseling resources in the washington dc/arlington, va area. I want to see a counselor who specializes in seeing people who come from families with domestic abuse. I used to see a counselor/therapist in school, but I can't find one here in DC. I once contacted the DC Coalition of Violence, but they were not helpful. Does anybody have a list of counselors I could go through? Are there places I could contact that can set me up with somebody?

I am 20something years old, and I'm independent of my family. I have a full time job with the Fed, and decent health insurance so I can work out those types of details when they arise.

I live in Arlington, but I work in DC (30 minute commute to downtown, if the Metro is behaving!) so I can look at resources in either place. My home zipcode is 22201, but I work zipcode is 20212. Hope that helps.

Anyways, any help/leads would be appreciated.

Thanks.

Posts: 21 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Bobby,

I am so sorry to be so terribly behind on this for you. I hope you know it's not because I don't think it's important.

First things first: does your health insurance cover counseling? If it does, you could start by simply screening a few counselors who'd take your insurance. As with counseling for any specific issue, you can always ask what someone's experience, education and approach is with this one.

If that's not an option, and the DC Coalition wasn't of any help, have you looked into these folks: http://www.thewomenscenter.org/

They also serve men and do do counseling specifically around domestic violence.

The Whitman-Walker Clinic may also have a counselor for you or be able to get you more resources locally: http://www.wwc.org/

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BobbyC
Neophyte
Member # 39969

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No that's okay. I get how busy things can be. At the moment, I'm just working a regular 9-5 schedule, and I always feel a step or two behind. I don't know how people do it when they start taking on additional obligations outside of that. (I guess I'll soon find out!) Also, when I left my old counselor, we kind of talked about things I should do when I move on, and I've been occupying myself with that and other stuff.

Anyways, I'll go ahead and look through the provider list for my health insurance. They partially cover seeing a counselor/therapist so that will be something I will look into. And both sites you sent me seem pretty good, and they're close to my work so that is always nice.

Probably the most important thing I wanted to talk to you is to ask you for books, articles, essays, or whatever you have to read that discusses domestic abuse and all the stuff it is related to it. Awhile back I read this book by Lundy Bancroft called "Why Does He Do That?" and it's probably the best book I've read in a long time. It's hard to explain, but it gives such a clear and comprehensive picture my family life at home. The chapter on "the abusive mentality" is a window into my dad's head. There's another chapter where he talks how an abuser is formed, and he points to the environment a guy grows up in--key male models, culturally transmitted values, etc. It seems like abusiveness is just a logical extension I've read that book over and over again. I want to know more about--well, everything. I've read some other stuff: To be an Anchor in a Storm, Abuse in Upscale Marriages, the Macho Paradox, Ditch That Jerk, Dilemmas of Desire, When Dad Hurts Mom, Adult Children of Abusive Parents, and some random stuff I've found at the library. I just want to know more about all of all aspects of these topics, and I want to know what I can do with these things. Growing up in a messed up family was a really awful experience. It's really bad to see how it spills over into other aspects of my life. What I want to do is to somehow take my experiences and make sure other people don't go through what I have gone through. Also, I want to equip people with the tools to spot this kind of stuff early on and get help. I want to be able to really help people out who are dealing with the trauma of these types of experiences. I don't know if I'm at all ready to be in a position to do that, but I want to know if you had some idea how to get started in this direction.

I have other questions too, but this post has turned into a brain dump so I'll stop for now.

Posts: 21 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You've already read a lot of what I'd suggest, and I agree, that Bancroft book is amazing.

You know, one book I've been finding really helpful myself, and at a time in my life when I thought I didn't really need much help with this stuff anymore, is "Healing Your Emotional Self," by Beverly Engel, who has written a whole host of books about abuses and surviving them.

It is pretty self-helpy, just so you're warned. But I tend to get easily annoyed by that stuff and I don't feel at all annoyed with this. It sounds like it might be something that could potentially provide a nice transition in your reading between the whys of abuse to really working on your own healing. I'd say it also gives some really good modeling about how to help other people to heal.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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By the way, Ben Privot, who runs The Consensual Project, is in your area and is looking for an intern.

I don't know what kind of time you have, but I'm thinking this might be an opportunity you want to consider and have a conversation about and might be a good fit for you. I've already told him about you (so he knows your first name).

If you're interested, here's info on that: http://www.theconsensualproject.com/blog/new-summer-2011-social-media-internship

You can contact him and let him know that you're the Bobby Heather was talking about. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BobbyC
Neophyte
Member # 39969

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Hey,

Thanks for the book recommendation. If you have any additional stuff, please let me know. I like to read, and it is always fun to gobble up as many books as I can. Also, thank you for the contact information. I appreciate it. I will have to think about it because I'm not sure what my time commitments will be during the summer. And I kind of think I found a group that fits what I'm looking for.

In DC there is a group called "Men Can Stop Rape." Although the organization name seems to be narrowly focused, the mission statement from their website talks a lot about create an alternate definition of masculinity. I think that is really a key point. I spent some time thinking about it, and I think it's better (for me) to spend time there than with a woman's group. It's not a "woman's problem" that a man abuses her, as it is usually framed. Really it is a problem for guys, and women usually don't have a lot of success complaining about it. On the other hand, I've noticed that a guy calling out another guy is a lot different. Dunno why but it is. Anyways I think it's a good idea to add myself to the ranks of guys who want an alternative. In the long term I want to be somebody who can give some sort of person to person support. I feel like that is important and for me, it would be very fulfilling. I think will be tough though. It's really tough to make changes in my own attitudes. I think it will be harder to persuade others to do the same...

btw, BobbyC is just a pseudonym for me. My family is from outside the US, and my parents gave me one of those crazy (but cool!) ethnic names (that also makes me easily identifiable. Sorry it's just all of this is a very big secret in my life. If you want to pass on my real name, then I'll send it to you too. I feel comfortable at this point.)

Posts: 21 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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