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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Not sure what to call not sure how to feel.

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Author Topic: Not sure what to call not sure how to feel.
loveandsoul
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Member # 49808

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Okay, I will try to make this short and sweet.
15 yr old girl, confused and just wants answers for once.

Pretty much, from a young age I have always felt like I've been sexually abused. When I was around 5-7 my mom had to leave me with different family members for about a year. I barley have any memories of when I was a kid.
Not sure if this is a flashback, but I sort of have a blurry memory of me playing with another girl(s) in an inappropriate way and getting caught. But they say kids just don't know that stuff at such a young age, they LEARN it? Thats all I pretty much remember about anything like that, but I just feel so strongly that something funny happened, it just cant be nothing.
MY MOTHER EVEN MENTIONED SOMETHING TO MY DOCTORS ABOUT ME BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED RECENTLY? Like wtf?

Little more info: I was pretty much emotionally and verbally abused from the age of 7-12 by my ex step father. I have always felt funny about boys and just relationships. I have attachment problems (Seriously, I can not let go of one of my past relationships that has ended over a year ago)I'm not a virgin and I use sex as a solution to my problems. I suffer from depression and anxiety and have already been advised to get help for a couple different reasons.

Hope someone can help. Has something happened? Should I be talking to someone?

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LifeIsNothing!

Posts: 4 | From: Madison | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Hi loveandsoul.

It sounds like you've been having a real rough time of it.

We can't really tell, from what you've written, whether or not any sexual assault may have happened. And trying to recover lost memories of childhood abuse also tends to be a tricky subject. But if you think there is something there, by all means, that feeling is something worth exploring. Have you tried asking your mother what she meant with that comment to your doctor?

That aside, you don't need to have been sexually assaulted to get some therapy. It sounds like you'd have plenty to talk about even without assault: there's the verbal abuse from your ex step-father, and the fact that you use sex as a coping tool. With both of those, therapy could really help you.

Can we help you find some resources near you?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
loveandsoul
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Member # 49808

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Yes thank you. That would be very helpful.

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LifeIsNothing!

Posts: 4 | From: Madison | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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