Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » book recommendations for abuse recovery?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: book recommendations for abuse recovery?
Cloverdance
Neophyte
Member # 47739

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cloverdance     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A good friend of mine recently told me that her last two boyfriends abused her, the first one physically (he once forced sex on her while he was drunk) and the second one verbally and mentally through most of their relationship, which lasted about 2 years. I had no idea that there was anything so awful about either those guys, and I'm the first and only person that she's told about this stuff.

By the way, I'm posting here with her permission. She's actually reading over my shoulder as I type. =)

She's feeling a little lost and unsure how to begin getting over this stuff. We've been looking at some of the articles here and the message board topics for some guidance. She's hesitant about seeing a counselor, at least for now, but I suggested that reading some books on abuse recovery might help. I was wondering if anyone knew of any good books that might be helpful to the situation?

--------------------
The meaning of happiness is whatever you want it to be.

Posts: 23 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sure do! [Smile]

You Can Be Free by Ginny niCarthy, is fantastic. It's for all ages. Parts of it are workbook style, so it's both supportive and very practical and clear.

In Love and In Danger by Barrie Levy is specific to younger women, and it's also fantastic.

I'm happy to list a bunch more, but those would be my top two.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cloverdance
Neophyte
Member # 47739

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cloverdance     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Awesome! Thank you so much! =)

--------------------
The meaning of happiness is whatever you want it to be.

Posts: 23 | From: US | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bookwormfairy
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44107

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bookwormfairy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
In love and in danger is a good book, plus it is interactive.

--------------------
~Lillian

Posts: 263 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bookwormfairy
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44107

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bookwormfairy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I was wondering what the other books you recommend are.

I've read In love and in danger and this other book about incest, can't remember the title right now.

--------------------
~Lillian

Posts: 263 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Can you give me some clues about what you're looking for?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bookwormfairy
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44107

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bookwormfairy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Such as how to get over, manipulation and how to say no and meaning it. Basically what this topic is about, and any books you think would be good for me to read.

--------------------
~Lillian

Posts: 263 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Okay.

"You Can Be Free" by Ginny niCarthy, as I suggested to Cloverdance, is one I'd suggest for you, too. I'd also suggest "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft, a book I just suggested for another user this morning who got out of abuse and is having a hard time letting go. "The Courage to Heal Workbook: A Guide for Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse" by Laura Davis and/or "Breaking the Chains of Abuse: A Practical Guide for Survivors" by Sue Atkinson may also be helpful for you.

On assertiveness and esteem -- which is really what's core with boundary-setting -- you can look for "Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed," by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym, or "Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame." by Beverly Engel. Per boundary-setting specifically, you might check out "Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day," by Anne Katherine.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67933 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BobbyC
Neophyte
Member # 39969

Icon 1 posted      Profile for BobbyC     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft

This is probably the best book I've ever read on abusers. I read it again and again. I can't recommend it highly enough. Bancroft worked at Emerge, the first counseling program for abusers (ie. the perpetrators). Bancroft worked at Emerge for 15 years. The book basically summarizes everything you want to know about an abuser: what is abuse, common myths, the abusive mentality, forms of abusive, types of abusers, origins of abuse, how to stop it, and how to get abusers to change.

As somebody who grew up in an abusive family, and saw a lot of unpleasant parallels in my first relationship, this book really helped me understand what was going on. I can't say how awesome it was to read it. Whenever I get a chance, I harass people to read it. It's great. :-)

[ 09-12-2010, 12:17 AM: Message edited by: BobbyC ]

Posts: 21 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bookwormfairy
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44107

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bookwormfairy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just put two of your recommended books on hold at my library.

I got,Why Does He Do That and Respect: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed.

I also got the book Hurting and Healing:How to Overcome the Trauma of Sexual Abuse and Rape by Gloria Wade.

[ 09-12-2010, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: bookwormfairy ]

--------------------
~Lillian

Posts: 263 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bookwormfairy
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44107

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bookwormfairy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So here are my book reviews so far

Hurting and healing by Gloria Wade - a very good book. Informative with interesting self help exercises and a section on how to find the right therapist.

I'll edit it for the other books when I'm done reading them.

--------------------
~Lillian

Posts: 263 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Sep 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.
UBB Code™ Images not permitted.
Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3