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Author Topic: Is he changing?
XXXHayleyBabyXXX
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How do you tell if an abusive person is really changing?

I'm considering trying to work stuff out with my ex and he seems to be making alot of the changes I asked for but I'm scared it won't last. Am I crazy for thinking maybe he's finaly learnt his lesson?

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Be with someone who knows what they have when they have you

Posts: 73 | From: rockin the nation from a secret location haha | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
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A really difficult think about these types of relationships is that if the person was abusive from the beginning, we wouldn't have dated them. So they're often people that are able to show the face that needs to be seen, at least for a little while. How do you feel about this, knowing some of the things that had happened in the past with this partner?

Too? It takes time, a lot of focus and work, and help to change. In the end the person has to want to change for themselves. What types of help had this partner sought out?

[ 12-21-2010, 10:26 PM: Message edited by: Stephanie_1 ]

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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XXXHayleyBabyXXX
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After the first really big fight I said I'm done unless he gets counselling which he's been doing ever since. We actualy broke up because he ended up in jail (nothing he did to me). We only recently started contacting each other again and don't know how much longer it'll be until he's out but seems to me like it scared him big time.

I think he's learnt his lesson and won't wanna end up back in there but hard to tell if he's making real changes or just tryning to get back in my good books

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Be with someone who knows what they have when they have you

Posts: 73 | From: rockin the nation from a secret location haha | Registered: Nov 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Stephanie_1
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So what I'd suggest is take things REALLY slow. Start as friends first if that's something you are okay with - kind of test the waters. See if he's following friendship's boundaries before thinking yet of moving forward.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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