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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Help me!

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Author Topic: Help me!
billsbillsbills
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Okay so now my girlfriend was raped by one of her friends. I don't know how to help her... This happened before but by her ex boyfriend. She never got help because she didn't tell anyone. Please help me help her. I don't know what to do!
Posts: 14 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You can refer her to all of the same links that we gave you recently as a place to start.

She also has the option of coming here herself to talk about this, or she can use the RAINN hotline. If she wants to report her rape, she also can start at her local police station.

Is she asking you for a certain kind of help expressly?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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billsbillsbills
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not a certain kind. i told her to call the cops already.

I know it happened I was on the phone with her when it happened...


Thanks Heather. [Big Grin]

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Heather
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I'm confused.

You were on the phone while she was being raped? You heard her being raped?

Is there a reason YOU didn't call the police or haven't yet, given it sounds like you were an indirect witness to this?

I may not understand what you're saying here, but if I have, and you listened to her being raped while on the phone, I'm not really sure what to make of that or sure I understand what went on here.

[ 08-26-2008, 06:58 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Blue Koi
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The best that you can do is to offer her different abuse resources, and to let her know that you are available to talk. If you notice any unusual behavior, like she doesn't go out as much as she used to, or she seems to say away from her friends, then you could become more proactive about finding her help. Perhaps offering to take her to see a counselor, or staying by her side when she calls RAINN.

Sometimes people just need someone to listen, so perhaps just lending an ear can help tremendously.

--------------------
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

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Heather
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(Hey, Blue? When we come in and ask a user questions to clarify, it usually tends to work best if we give them a chance to answer those, okay? That way we can be sure we're advising them as best we can, and also not overwhelming with too many cooks in the kitchen. Thanks!)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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billsbillsbills
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Yeah I don't live near her so I couldn't call the cops....
Posts: 14 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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I still feel like I really need to understand what exactly happened here before I can give the most applicable information.

(For the record, though? If you are ever witness to a crime, you do NOT need to be in someone's area to call the police. You can call 911 and just let them know where the crime is happening, or call that local police department. And you can STILL make that call if you heard your girlfriend being raped on the phone, but again, I'd need more information to know how to best advise you on that one.)

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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billsbillsbills
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Oh I didnt know you could be like 500 miles away and still call the cops for them... interesting...

thanks but I told her parents because she asked me to and now they're getting her help..

no need for this post anymore. thank you

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Heather
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I still don't understand what happened here.

But since you don't seem to want to clarify -- which is fine -- I do just want to make clear that if you ever know someone is being raped while you are speaking to them, I implore you to absolutely DO something, right there and then.

Call the police, ask someone else for help, anything to STOP what is going on and get that person help as quickly as possible. Someone talking to you on the phone while an assault is happening, or having you in some way present at the time, is going to be depending on you for that aid.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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billsbillsbills
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yeah if you can, can you please close this topic? thank you heather [Smile]
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Blue Koi
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quote:
Originally posted by Heather:
(Hey, Blue? When we come in and ask a user questions to clarify, it usually tends to work best if we give them a chance to answer those, okay? That way we can be sure we're advising them as best we can, and also not overwhelming with too many cooks in the kitchen. Thanks!)

Sorry I jumped the gun there.

--------------------
"Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Bills: I'd prefer not to, since you may have more questions about this event later and because other users who may have been or find themselves in similar situations may want to continue the discussion, too.

In general, it's not our policy to close topics arbitrarily. But if you have a specific concern, please let me know.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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billsbillsbills
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Ohkay. its okay. thanks though
Posts: 14 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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