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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » My sister

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Author Topic: My sister
marie45
Neophyte
Member # 32565

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I dont know what to do!! I think that one of my moms friends has raped my sister and she thinks that she is in love with him and wont tell my mom. I think that it is true because this same guy has showed up at my window and tried to push himself through it. I just want to keep my sister safe and i don't know how to do it if she will not admit what she has done. I am so scared to tell my mom because she said if I lie on her that she will not talk to me and I love her and just want to watch out for her!!!

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Brittany

Posts: 20 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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Okay, I'm a bit confused over exactly what's happened.

I think that one of my moms friends has raped my sister and she thinks that she is in love with him and wont tell my mom.

Why do you think your sister has been raped?

Is this something you know for sure, or something you think might have happened?

this same guy has showed up at my window and tried to push himself through it.

So, it sounds like there's a serious risk to your safety here as well. Did you tell your mom about this? Or phone the police?

i don't know how to do it if she will not admit what she has done.

What is it that your sister "has done"? Do you mean that you think she won't admit that she has been raped?

I am so scared to tell my mom because she said if I lie on her that she will not talk to me and I love her

But it won't be a lie if you tell your mom the truth, right?

And frankly, your sister's safety (and yours) has to come ahead of whether she's on speaking terms with you or not.

Sorry for bombarding you with so many questions - I'm just trying to get a handle on exactly what the situation is.

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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ghostie
Activist
Member # 28874

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quote:
Originally posted by logic_grrl:

I am so scared to tell my mom because she said if I lie on her that she will not talk to me and I love her

But it won't be a lie if you tell your mom the truth, right?

I think this part may be meaning that there is a fear her mom will think she's lying about it, and then lose the support from her.
Am I right?
Also..it's hard to get proof that your sister has been raped if she won't even admit it to herself. Therefore if her mom asks her she might deny it and then you be exposed as "lying"

logic grrl is right in this being a risk to your safety as well if he is trying to force himself through your window.

Have you spoken to your sister about this at all?
Not even in an accusing way, just to see how she really feels about this guy, if she feels scared in any way. Talking to her like this, as a friend, will help her understand you're just looking out for her and you will be there for her if she needs.

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marie45
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Well i tried talkin about it to her and before she told me that she liked him and that they were together (whatever that means) and now that all this is goin on all she keeps tellin me is that it was a lie!!i am so confused :comnfused:

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Brittany

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Marie, this situation would also be something to bring up to that counselor we were discussing in your other thread, especially if your sister is also a minor.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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marie45
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yeah i thought so too thanks for the advise again and i think that it is best...Do you think i should bring any of this up again with my mom i thought about it but i am afraid that she would over react and bring it all out of proportion!!

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Brittany

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I'd suggest first talking about it with a more objective party, especially since I don't really understand the whole of how volatile/dysfunctional your family dynamics are. I don't want to advise you to have a conversation at this point that might put you and your sister in greater danger.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
marie45
Neophyte
Member # 32565

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OK THEN I GUESS THAT WOULD BE BEST I AM JUST SO PISSED OFF BECAUSE I AM DEPRESSED AND NOW SHE(MY MOM) WANTS TO ACT LIKE SHE CARES WHATEVER!!!

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Brittany

Posts: 20 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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