A good friend of mine was raped by an ex-boyfriend, she was drunk and high and he was not. She dosen't remember saying no, but she does remember asking him to to stop. She got her period the day after it happen, but now her following period is over two weeks late. The incident occured in water, but I am not sure if that makes a difference. He did not use protection, and she was no longer on birth control (for which I take partial responsability for since I was one of the people who told her to stop taking it since she was single and was planning on waiting until she was engaged or in a comitted relationship to have sex)
1) Could she be pregnant, she is younger than me and very emotional, I don't want to put her through taking a pregnancy test if I don't have to.
2) This happened over a month ago, does she have any legal options with the physical evidence long gone and she doesn't remember saying no (there was also another boy there, she doesn't remember what he did)
3)She was (and still is in my mind) a vigin before this happened, I am worried about her emotional health, how do I help? The boy who did this was an ex and now he won't talk to her about what happened?
Posts: 3 | From: New York, New York, United States | Registered: Oct 2005
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1) It seems unlikely that she would be pregnant from this, because she had a period after the rape. However, because she is two weeks late, i would suggest a pregnancy test anyway. It IS stressful, but it will also be a solid answer as to whether or not she is pregnant. If she IS pregnant, she'll have decisions to make, and the sooner she knows, the longer she has to make them.
2) I believe she does still have legal options, if she would like to press charges. The best people to ask here is your local police. I would just go to the station and say you'd like to report a rape (her, not you, of course ... you can go with her, if you'd like).
3) The best you can do for your friend right now is try to support her the best you can. Go with her to buy and take the pregnancy test ... Go with her to the police station ... Let her know that you are available to talk at all hours, and want her to come to you. There are professional services that deal with this though, and she also needs to seek those out. She should have a GYN exam and STI screen as well ... And you can go with her to those too, if she wants you to.
I will look for services in your area and get back to you.
I found an awesome list of resources here ... It lists everything from hospital rape centers (where she can have the GYN exam and STI screen) to counseling to legal services. There are also hotlines if she has any questions or isn't ready to speak to anyone in person yet. (She DOES need to speak to someone in person sooner rather than later though, so you need to encourage her to do so).
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