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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Can guys grasp the concept....

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Author Topic: Can guys grasp the concept....
Marshmallow
Neophyte
Member # 7833

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Does anyone here think that a guy can easily grasp the concept that I love him, but I don't want to have sex with him...eventhough we already made love once before? That's my situation...my boyfriend and i have been dating for a while and we are in an incredibly loving relationship...he only hits me about 2 times a week...and we lost our virginity to eachother a few weeks ago, but I realized, when we were having sex, that it was too scary for me, and I'm just not ready yet. Do you think that it would come off as rude or misunderstanding if i was to say that i'm not ready for sex in our relationship yet? or should i just not bring it up and try to go with the flow...thanks for any input you guys might have. i guess i'll talk to you later

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every time a door to happiness closes another one opens...don't waste your life infront of a closed door


Posts: 6 | From: US | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kite
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Member # 5957

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quote:
Originally posted by Marshmallow:
my boyfriend and i have been dating for a while and we are in an incredibly loving relationship...he only hits me about 2 times a week...


Whoa, whoa. Was that a joke? It doesn't seem like one. Marshmallow, being hit at all doesn't belong in a "loving relationship", or in any relationship at all for that matter. Being hit is abuse. A relationship with someone who hits you is an abusive relationship, not a loving one.

quote:

and we lost our virginity to eachother a few weeks ago, but I realized, when we were having sex, that it was too scary for me, and I'm just not ready yet. Do you think that it would come off as rude or misunderstanding if i was to say that i'm not ready for sex in our relationship yet?

It is your right as a person to only have sex when you want to. If your boyfriend thinks it's rude of you to express the fact that you're not ready, then your boyfriend is not ready for you. If you're not ready, you're not ready, end of story.



Posts: 127 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

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This does not sound like a healthy relationship. Your boyfriend is first of all abusing you. It doensn't matter if it happens twice a week, twice a month or twice a year. He is physically abusing you.

Second of all, the last thing on your mind should be if you will hurt his feelings or not. If you aren't ready to have sex, tell him that. You shouldn't feel like you have to have sex because you've already done it onece, and if you're not comfortable do not do it.

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'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bambinosgurl4219
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Member # 7231

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Honey, I hate to tell you, but not only do you need to stop having sex w/ him, but you also need to leave him. Any relationship where there is abuse is not a relationship at all. And if he would consider you wanting to stop having sex b/c you are not ready, then he is a first-class jerk. You really need to examine your relationship, and determine why you are w/ someone like this...you deserve someone who would make you happy. Good luck sweetie...

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"What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?"

"I hate you for hurting me, but most of all, I hate me for loving you."

"The only genuine love worthy of the name is unconditional."


Posts: 25 | From: that special place in my true love's heart!!! | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
towel42
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Member # 3118

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Er, is "hits me" slang for something? I really hope so. Its just that people I know use a similar phrase to describe having sex, but you said you only had sex once with him. Like the others said...any abuse is a sign to hightail it out of the relationship. So I really hope thats slang.

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"I speak of the truth, the truth of the heart, like a desperate thirst in a raging drought/Hey youth, time flies by, its an everlasting battle for eternal life/I love a man from California, he's the prettiest thing we got the same disorder/The way you feel, its OK, its never gonna change, anyway/It hit me I got everything I need/I got freedom and my youth!" -The Distillers-

"I'm alright, I'm gonna make it, even if I gotta fake it..."
"I'm trying to be someone else today, ohh, I'm fooling everyone but me this way, ohh..."
-Sugarcult-


Posts: 256 | From: Illinois | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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