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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » I have no one else to talk to

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Author Topic: I have no one else to talk to
Member # 9158

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Hi everybody. Im writing today for hopefully some useful advice. Lately my boyfriend and I have been going through some changes. He's been very preoccupied lately and we havent been spending that much time together but thats not really my issue anymore. Lately it seems we've been fighting alot. He makes all sorts of excuses for his behavior such as being tired or busy or just plain cranky. But im up to the point where im really tired of hearing all of that already. Ive tried so hard to be understanding. Ive sucked up so much just to avoid arguements and fights. I feel i need to be extra nice during this time so he can remember that i even exist (you know that sayin "everything you wont do for your man another woman will"). That really bothers me. I shouldnt have to act. I should be able to express myself freely with him and be comfortable. Him on the other hand has a very serious problem communicating. Hes always hiding his emotions. He recently made a comment to that blew my mind...he basically said that he wore the pants in the relationship nd he owns me. This really ticked me off. Honestly if someone feels they need to have ownership over something...get a pet. Well after this occured i just told him that he has a very bad state of mind nd went home. Now my problem is, ive made the decision to give him a taste of his own medicine (being that we havent spoken since the incident) because of that fact that im honestly very tired of being the one who goes to him first everytime we fight. I do all the things that i do because i care for him not because he has control over me, and i feel hes lost track of that or that hes taking my kindness for weakness. My question i doin the right thing by just waiting for him to apologize to me? Or should i take another approach? Im sorry for the long post. Thanx for listening.
Posts: 41 | From: Brooklyn,Ny,U.S. | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23887

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This relationship is not worth your time. He doesn't respect you and wants to have dominance over you in the relationship - Not Good. You don't want to be below your boyfriend - that kind of thinking, at the extreme, can lead to abuse. In a healthy relationship, both partners are at equal standings and are open and honest with each other.

I wouldn't provoke him by "giving him a taste of his own medicine". Don't stoop to his level. Just walk away from this relationship and find a partner who will respect you and treat you right.

I understand that you care a lot about him, but you also need to think about your own needs too. By staying with a boyfriend like this, you are cheating yourself out of what you deserve in a relationship.

[This message has been edited by icygirl88 (edited 09-26-2005).]

Posts: 72 | From: massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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