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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SHOP TALK » S.E.X. » Speaking of S.E.X...

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Author Topic: Speaking of S.E.X...
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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...the new anthology Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape is out today.

I don't yet have my contributor copies, but I have very high hopes for this collection of essays, which includes "An Immodest Proposal" from me, was influenced by my work with y'all and other teens and what all of you had to say here. Thanks so much for your help!

It also includes essays from some writers who may be familiar to you from Scarleteen and work related to Scarleteen, like Hanne Blank, Rachel Kramer Bussel (who did a review of S.E.X.), Samhita Mukhopadhyay, Lisa Jervis (who also did a review of S.E.X.), and has a foreword by Margaret Cho.

I haven't had the chance to read everyone else's pieces, but I have a feeling this is a book you're also very much going to enjoy.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hung Low
Neophyte
Member # 41912

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Im 22 years old and im well packed 9" long and 7" girth ive been with my girlfriend for 6 years when we have sex it most of the times hurts her yet we communicate sexually very well so i do go easy and slow and still its like the hardest thing to give her an orgasm i also have a slight curvature to the left. what should i do? is there a specific position best for my size and shape

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ceasar

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Hung Low
Neophyte
Member # 41912

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As i said above to all the girls ive hooked up with i am very large but due to my girlfriends lack of orgasms i still feel insecurre about my size and i am always looking to get larger do you think its worth it

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ceasar

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Just FYI< this thread isn't the right place for this. When you want to make a new topic, you click "new topic," okay?

Your penis could be any size under the sun, and it's not likely to have a lot to do with a woman's orgasm. Most women do NOT orgasm from intercourse alone, no matter what size penis a male partner has, or how long those two folks go at it. Here's information on that for you: The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum.

Too, if she is in pain during intercourse AND not reaching orgasm, chances are pretty good that's because you two are not engaging in enough NON-intercourse sexual activity for her. Here's information for you on pain with intercourse: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse.

As well, there actually is not anything you can do to increase the size of your penis save surgery, and there is no one "right" kind of position for any given person. Finding what's best for you and a given partner is usually pretty unique, and involves trying different things with them to see what feels best and what doesn't.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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FYI, there's a roundup of the blog tour for Yes Means Yes today at feministe with some liveblog interviewing of several of the writers, including myself: http://feministe.us/blog

My segment (which is shared with several others, including my dear friend Hanne Blank, who used to help with Scarleteen an age ago) starts at 3 EST.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bluejumprope
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 40774

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Heather, I found it interesting what you said in the chat about if there was to be Yes Means Yes, Vol. 2, it should be for young gay men. Do you think a lot of young gay men have sex without a strong yes? I have some idea of what you're talking about, but I'm curious about what you've observed--what some of the dynamics are like and how it's similar or different to what goes on in het couples.

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without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Yeah, I do think that. And most studies done on coercion/sexual abuse in same-sex relationships typically find that the reported rates of coercion are higher with gay men than with lesbian women.

Ultimately, as we already know looking at rape rates period, what we know is that forcing or coercing sex is, while not exclusively, very strongly about men, period. I'd say that in some ways it's similar to what we see between men and women, but I also think there is an extra issue between men in that men have even less permission than women to say no to sex: saying no to sex is very much a masculinity issue for many men, in that so many men are reared with the idea that "real" men always say yes and have sex when it is made available to them.

Of course, added to all of THAT is homophobia and the fact that if and when a person is in the closet, they also have the additional pressure of worry about disclosure per being outed by someone who didn't get what they wanted. [Frown]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bluejumprope
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 40774

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Hm. [Frown]

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without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

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