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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » advice needed!

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Author Topic: advice needed!
Member # 109540

Icon 11 posted      Profile for heartsfaraway         Edit/Delete Post 
Hi! I'm been with my boyfriend for about 11 months now we've gotten really comfortable with each other. Since we've both not been in a relationship before this is a huge learning curve.

Recently we've started exploring and experimenting with dry humping/frottage/dry sex whatever you'd like to call it. Although I do enjoy it, only sometimes I feel sexual pleasure (if that is heartbeat and breath increases and it feels like I can't breathe in a good way). Whereas he says it feels good for him every time (sexuallly) A few times he has touched/stroked/rubbed me (with permission) around the vagina/vulva area and that didn't really feel like anything to me either.

Is it normal that sometimes I can't feel anything? Is there something we can both do to increase me feeling something? Is it normal that touching my vagina/vulva doesn't feel like anything? Or is this just because of how my body is built vs. his?

Thank you so much >< I'm so clueless [Confused]

Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Have you two talked about this?

No one kind of sex feels the same, or even good, for everyone. Just because something feels good to one partner does not mean it will for another. In this case, his genitals are external, and yours really are not, which means that a lot of the time, especially without careful positioning, he is going to feel more stimulated from something like this than you are, or anything where you are dressed, really, unless again, you are positioned in such a way that that your clitoris, any of its portions, is getting some stimulation.

Maybe this kind of sex just is not your thing, maybe you can experiment and find some additions or adjustments that make it feel good, but you need to start by letting him know when things feel good and when they feel blah so you two can work together to find what works for both of you. [Smile]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 109540

Icon 1 posted      Profile for heartsfaraway         Edit/Delete Post 
oh ahah yes we did talk [Smile] actually it was his idea to ask you guys about this.

We are going to experiment some more and see what works.

Thank you so much!

Posts: 2 | Registered: Feb 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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