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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Trouble with losing virginity?

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Author Topic: Trouble with losing virginity?
Member # 109324

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My and my boyfriend love each other very much and I am willing to take it to the next level. We tried before twice, but we didn't have lube and I wasn't wet enough anymore.

We planned on doing it today, and my boyfriend bought lube. So we tried for atleast an hour today, but I could not get his penis all the way in. Only like the head. Idk if i'm just super tight, or what. I think I broke my hymen when I was 10. So I don't have it. So I doubt that's a problem.

He fingered me, and ate me out which worked out well. But I just ended up getting so frustrated more than turned on that maybe my vagina wasn't expanding anymore because I ended up getting frustrated? It was our 3rd time trying. What should I do to make myself less tight? It's very irritating.

I do masturbate sometimes.

[ 01-16-2014, 05:03 PM: Message edited by: tellak ]

Posts: 5 | From: washington dc | Registered: Jan 2014  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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During that hour, was everything feeling awesome? (Was anything?) If not, one big thing to know is that when things don't feel good, and a minor adjustment or two don't help, you want to stop trying to do whatever you are. because it's only likely to feel worse.

You also note you stopped being turned on: that's the time to stop having any kind of sex, too.

The vaginal canal and opening, save for those with any health issues that present issues, are flexible. They don't tighten or loosen in static, permanent ways, really. rather, when we get, and stay, turned on, they expand and relax, becoming more flexible. When we are not turned on, are nervous, stressed, etc, then they collapse and get less flexible.

The hymen, just so you know, also doesn't usually break with the exception of sexual assault or genital injury. rather, it tends to wear away gradually throughout our whole lives (so no one ever doesn't have any of the hymen, either, as it wears away, little folds of it, in a diverse array of ways, just kind of move to the sides, just inside the vaginal opening where it initially is.

Let me ask you this: at any time when you have been trying to engage in intercourse, have you been very turned on the whole time you have tried, and also relaxed? That includes feeling relaxed and okay about if it is something that happens or doesn't at that time.

You have also just recently posted about having some relationship conflicts. have you started talking about and resolving those? If not, that can play a part here, too. It's mighty hard to be chill and turned on when we're not feeling okay in other ways with a partner.

[ 01-16-2014, 05:16 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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