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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I'm just freaking out, help please.

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Author Topic: I'm just freaking out, help please.
Lolainlove
Neophyte
Member # 108827

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I'm about to have my first time with my boyfriend, we like each other very much and stuff. My parents will be away for a couple of days and we'll have the house just for the two of us.

The thing is: I'll be ovulating, apparently, and now I'm freaking out.
I'm not on the pill. If we just used condoms, would that suffice?
Plus, he told his mother and now she thinks he's pressuring me (and he's totally not). We had this utterly awkward conversation (me and his mom) in which she told me how you shouldn't have sex when you're ovulating (she's a doctor).

All I wanna do now is sit and cry.
Help [Frown] [Frown]

**I really want to have sex with him. This IS something I want, nobody is pressuring me or anything.

Posts: 7 | From: Somewhere | Registered: Nov 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sam W
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 108189

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Hi Lola,

For your ovulation question, I want you to read this article:

Let's Dial Down Some (Maybe) Ovulation Freakouts

As to your condom question, have you read this article?

Condoms

Just to clarify, are you freaking out due to ovulation worries, or something in addition to that?

[ 01-07-2014, 10:06 PM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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Lolainlove
Neophyte
Member # 108827

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I read it all already. I'm kinda pissed about him telling his mom and her insisting on having this awkward conversation with me. Why does she have to be a part of this?
Now she thinks he's pressuring me and keeps bringing the subject up with him.

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Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

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As you aren't her offspring, she doesn't have a right to insist on having this conversation with you. It would perhaps be nice if she offered any assistance that you might need, but it sounds as if she's put her own interpretation on the situation and given you her opinions instead.

I think it's best if you leave your boyfriend to handle his own situation with his mom, as he knows her and their relationship best. He can ask for help if he needs it, and he can of course ask us for help if he wants to. Do you know why she thinks he's pressuring you, and did she ask you?

So long as a reliable method of contraception is used correctly, there's no reason not to have sex when someone's ovulating. A lot of people - most - really don't know when they're ovulating. If contraception is being used properly, ovulation isn't anything to worry about, because barrier methods of contraception stop sperm from getting that far. With other methods of contraception, a person doesn't ovulate at all.

For people who really don't want to become pregnant, we usually suggest using two methods of contraception. That's because if someone makes a mistake with one method they're covered by the other, and with two methods correctly used, the chance of pregnancy is tiny. Condoms are one reliable method of contraception and also a great choice for minimising the risk of STIs. We have lots of information about condoms and how to use them correctly - would you like links to that? Would you also like any information about other methods of contraception or how to get them?

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Lolainlove
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Member # 108827

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I would like anything that could help me, thanks a lot!

Thanks for everything actually <3~

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Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
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You're very welcome!

So, let's find you some links.

Information about condoms: Condom Basics: A User's Manual and a piece about all the different barriers available, including some very funky and helpful illustrations on condom usage: All the Barriers! All the Time!

This page is the starting point for our information on contraception, with links to all the different methods: Birth Control Bingo!

Here's all the effectiveness rates for when two methods are used together: The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method


I know we haven't talked about this part of it specifically yet, but if you're keen on information, I thought you might like some of these too:
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
First Intercourse 101
Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry
I think this one is a great piece of writing and a powerful prompt for thinking about sex, and first intercourse, in a different and much more rewarding way than most folk usually do: An Immodest Proposal

If you have any questions about any of that, or anything else, or you'd like some help with getting contraception, you're very welcome to ask.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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