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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » taking shower together, penis accidentally touch vulva

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Author Topic: taking shower together, penis accidentally touch vulva
gilang5
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so today we were taking shower together, both of us were naked. My concern is when we were hugging and kissing, we didn't realize that my penis actually touches her vulva for a split seconds. She then do me a handjob and I ejaculated on her hand and toilet wall.
Am I in a risk? I've read the http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/can_i_get_pregnant_or_get_or_pass_on_an_sti_from_that
but I can't find the situation that applies me.

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Robin Lee
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Brief accidental contact between genitals isn't likely to result in pregnancy.

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Robin

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gilang5
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oh and today was the last day of her menstrual cycle, based on calendar tomorrow she will get her period (she had a regular 27 day cycle)

[ 12-13-2013, 07:50 AM: Message edited by: gilang5 ]

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gilang5
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thanks for the reply Robin,

first it was like about 5-10 seconds of contact if I remember, and more hugging again so it is about five times of contact between penis and vulva

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Robin Lee
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Regarding where your girlfriend is in her cycle, you might find this helpful and informative: http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_corinna/2013/12/03/lets_dial_down_some_maybe_ovulation_freakouts

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Robin

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gilang5
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Thanks for the new information on the link [Smile]

so in this case I don't need an Emergency Contraception? because here in my country it is very hard to find

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Robin Lee
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You're welcome.

As I said, brief accidental contact between bare genitals just isn't likely to lead to pregnancy.

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Robin

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gilang5
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so if tomorrow she gets her period, can I assume that she will not be pregnant?
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Robin Lee
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Hey Gilang5:

It occurs to me that you've come here with a lot of questions and worries.

I'm just wondering if it might help ease your mind to slow down with some of the sexual activities you've been doing? While what you've described aren't ways anyone is at all likely to get pregnant, it's still pretty clear that incidents continue to come up that worry you.

What do you think about talking to your girlfriend about finding sexual activities that you're both feeling good about--that don't worry you--so you don't have to feel scared so mmuch of the time?

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Robin

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gilang5
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Thanks Robin, we have talked about it last month and we agreed not to go far more beyond hugging and kissing.

The problem is, I live in a flat alone. And when she came things usually got heated and went far beyond hugging and kissing, to prevent us going further she usually gave me a handjob.

I coulnd't ask her not to come again because I think it is just too rude for her, she always made me a meal and taking care and cleaning of my flat. And there is a little piece in my mind that I think I want those "sex thing"

This situation will change though, in February I will be graduated from my college and I will move back to my family's home out of town, when she will be staying here so our relationship will be long distance.

That is my situation, sorry if it is too long [Frown]

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September
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Even if you have privacy, that does not mean that you always have to take advantage of it. You both still get to decide to set boundaries, and stick to them. It sounds to me like it is time for you and your girlfriend to sit down and talk about which sexual activites you are ready for, and set some boundaries.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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gilang5
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Thanks for the reply, September [Smile]

We have talked about this once more and we will try to stay away from any sexual activity beyond hugging and kissing. Hopefully it works. Now it is up to me managing stress from that shower encounter

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Carpe Diem
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Hi gilang, may I ask why you are still experiencing stress from as you call it "that shower encounter", even after being informed of all the facts from Robin and the rest of the Scarleteen team?

I'm not asking to sound condescending, not in the least (so if that is how I come across please let me know). I'm just checking in to see what it is that you are still concerned about in that regard.

In other words, is anxiety around sexual activities something you struggle with regularly, even after you have been provided with sound, reliable facts that answer your questions?

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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gilang5
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Thanks for the reply Carpe Diem,

Yes, I am feeling anxiety regularly from sexual activities. But in our first months of relationship, I DO ENJOY my sexual life. I am feeling it weird though, I do think that this anxiety comes from Google saying weird things about pregnancy. Although you guys were giving facts that they are not to be trusted, there is a little piece of my mind that say "what if they were saying the truth?"

And from my background, I live in Indonesia and my religion view is Islam. You know, any kind of sex before marriage in our community is considered as a big sin and shame. So I am really afraid of her being pregnant (pregnant before marriage is relatively rare here)

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Carpe Diem
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Hmm... I think I gotcha. By that i mean it can be hard to differentiate information that is truly legit from anecdotes posted by the 2nd cousin once removed of who the hell knows, if you catch my drift.

That's why it's sound (espically when experiencing anxiety over such things as a fear of pregnancy when nothing has occurred to create a pregnancy risk) to try your best to avoid Dr. Google and the like and only seek out reputable sources online. For more info on that, check out this article:

http://m.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/legit_or_unfit_finding_safe_sound_sex_educators_support_online

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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gilang5
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Yes then to avoid any misinformation I have learned to find information from this site only [Smile]

So today she got her period normally, is it safe to say that she isn't and not going to be pregnant from yesterday's encounter?

[ 12-14-2013, 08:27 AM: Message edited by: gilang5 ]

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Carpe Diem
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Yes it is absolutely safe to say that she has nothing to worry about, per pregnancy, from what you described.

Plus she has gotten her period to boot, and having a period is a body's way of saying "I'm not pregnant!" [Smile]

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"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."
-Joseph Campbell

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gilang5
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Phew, thanks! I am glad we don't need to take a test

Now I can focus my mind for my thesis defense next month, what a relieve [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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Best of luck with your thesis defense, and with maintaining the boundaries around sexual activities that will keep you from feeling the kind of stress they've been giving you lately.

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Robin

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gilang5
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I am really sorry to ask about this again, but this thread sounds conflicting

http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/2/t/008327.html#000001

It said that pregnancy could still happen if you had a risk a day before period. I need clarification

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gilang5
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and this thread said otherwise

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?/ubb/get_topic/f/2/t/013613.html#000000

it is just confusing..

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Robin Lee
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This doesn't change that you really did not have a significant risk. As we said above, what you described is just not likely to get anyone pregnant.

I appreciate that you want to educate yourself as much as you can, but it seems like continuing to come here and reading more information is making you more nervous, rather than helping you. What do you think?

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Robin

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gilang5
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Yes you're right, but not knowing this answer just makes me confused. As there are conflicting answers there..
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gilang5
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Don't answer then, maybe I don't wanna know. Thanks guys [Smile]
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Robin Lee
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If you're asking about whether it's possible for someone to still be pregnant if she's had her period after a real pregnancy risk, the answer is: yes, it can sometimes happen that way.

If you're asking if you and your girlfriend had a pregnancy risk from what you described, my answer is the same as it's been, and anyone else here would give you the same answer.

As you already know, we can't always guarantee an instant answer here. We ask that people please respect that, and not respond with snark or anger when an answer doesn't come immediately. Thanks. [Smile]

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Robin

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gilang5
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No, you don't get it. I am really sorry I don't mean to cause any offense. I am not angry. I am thinking that maybe you're right that I should stop hearing information like this. I am really sorry. and thanks for the reply
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