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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » So Many Fluids?

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Author Topic: So Many Fluids?
pianoplayer11
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Hi Scarleteen! Let me just say thank you to everyone who helped me through my pregnancy scare last month. I am not pregnant like you guys said! But this time I have some questions about my boyfriend and his body. My boyfriend got an erection while we were dry humping and he says he got wet with pre-ejaculate but it went all the way through his boxers and jeans which seemed a lot for me? Could it have been ejaculate? He says its not because he didn't reach orgasm which leads me to my next question. What exactly is premature ejaculation? Is it when they reach orgasm too early and ejaculate or when they ejaculate without an orgasm? If my boyfriend peed at like 3 times in the day before he got wet could there still be sperm in his pre-ejculate? Sorry about all the questions, I'm just not familiar with the male species [Razz]
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Redskies
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Different people produce different amounts of pre-ejaculate, and it can vary in the same person too. It's perfectly possible for someone to produce enough pre-ejaculate for it to show on both underwear and outer clothes. Only your boyfriend can know whether what you saw was ejaculate or pre-ejaculate.

Premature ejaculation is simply when someone ejaculates before they wanted to. Ejaculation usually means loss of an erection - although how long for varies from person to person, and can be for just a very short time - and if someone wanted to still have that erection, they might feel that the ejaculation was "too soon".

If someone's urinated since they last ejaculated, it's unlikely that there would be any traces of sperm in pre-ejaculate. If there's no genital-to genital contact, though, that isn't something that anyone needs to even think about.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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pianoplayer11
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Okay he says that he usually does produce that amount but he usually also wear darker clothing so he says that why I never saw it before. Oh premature ejaculation is kind of like a subjective thing? Different people can say their ejaculation was too early at different times? How possible is it to ejaculate without an orgasm? Probably not very right? I'm not really sure when the last time he ejaculated but he urinated three times while we were together so there may or may not have been sperm in the first place. There was no direct genital contact because we were both clothed. Once the pre-ejaculate/semen soaked through the clothes it can't make its way into my vagina even though I was wet because the sperm probably dies right?
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Redskies
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It's possible to ejaculate without orgasming, and to have an orgasm without ejaculating. They're two different processes which usually happen at almost the same time, interlinked, for people with penises. They can be separate, though.

Yep, premature ejaculation is absolutely a subjective thing. One person who wanted to have sex for only a short period of time might be totally happy with the short time before they ejaculated, while someone else who wanted to have more time before they ejaculated could consider the exact same time as "premature".

I know we've talked with you a lot before about what is and isn't a pregnancy risk, and I reckon you have enough information to be able to answer your questions about that yourself. You also know that you're in a place with that where answering your own questions is something that is important for you to manage. So, clothes: "clothes" is a magic word [Smile] When someone is wearing clothes, what does that mean per pregnancy risk?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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pianoplayer11
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It's not common for those two processes to happen without the other one right? It's usually at the same time? Okay that makes a lot of sense! When someone is wearing clothes, there is NO risk for a pregnancy to matter no matter if we are both touching the fluids and when both people are wearing clothes there's even LESS of a risk of pregnant because sperm does not like clothes and their fluids get absorbed so they cant move anywhere even if my fluids touch it!
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Redskies
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For people with penises, ejaculation and orgasm do usually, but not always, happen at the same time, yes. For people with vaginas, the two things are much more independent.

And you got it [Smile]

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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pianoplayer11
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Yay! [Smile] I keep reminding myself that! I read somewhere on here that using a condom during vaginal sex is 97% effective with perfect use so if clothes is like a huge condom protecting me from pregnancy and if I'm not having vaginal sex it is pretty much 100% right?

I spoke to my boyfriend and he said he hasn't ejaculated in a while and has showered and urinated before he got wet so that really puts me at 100% safe.

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Redskies
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That's correct about perfect use of a condom, over a whole year. You can think of it like that if it helps you, but I'd take it a step further: clothes are in the "absolutely guaranteed protected" category. There's a reason I said "clothes" is the magic word: in that way, clothes are like magic (except a very science-y kind of magic [Smile] ).

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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pianoplayer11
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So clothes are more protection than condoms or like the pill? It's like a complete barrier to everything. That's why it's listed on the Birth Control Bingo as something that has no risk at all. Clothes are so great [Smile] I honestly feel a lot better about this! I really like dry humping and I hope after this like sinks in, I can enjoy it even more without having to worry every time.
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Robin Lee
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Just to be clear, condoms, birth control pills, and other forms of contraception are excellent forms of protection against pregnancy when doing the kinds of sexual activities that can lead to pregnancy. Those are different activities from dry humping, which, by definition, is when people have clothes on. So it's more accurate to think of these as different sexual activities, not to compare clothes with birth control pills. [Smile]

I'm glad to hear you're feeling more confident now.

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Robin

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pianoplayer11
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Okay that's right. I think what makes this different is that clothes and many layers are involved. Thank you for all your help in getting me to understand this.
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Robin Lee
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You're welcome. [Smile]

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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