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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Anybody's typical PMS symptoms ever change?

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Author Topic: Anybody's typical PMS symptoms ever change?
scaredsickallthetime
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I always get tender/swollen breasts before my period, sometimes even a week after my last period they'll show up.

However, this month, nothing! No soreness.

I'm worried I'll skip my period or be "late" and I'm a total anxiety freak - I've only ever engaged in manual sex and dry humping - but I don't need the "scare factor" of a late period/missed period.

I'm wondering if you girls have ever experienced the same thing. Your typical PMS symptom doesn't show up - but your period still does.

Please let me know! [Frown]
I'm having an identity crisis here - I'm just not me without my main symptom. [Eek!]

Thanks!

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Sam W
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Hi there,

As we've gone over before, it's totally normal for period and PMS symptoms to vary from period to period, so there's no need to be worried.

It sounds like you're still having some of the same anxiety you were having a few days ago. Do you think there is something else going on that may be causing it?

[ 11-15-2013, 09:28 PM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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scaredsickallthetime
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Yes, I am still having anxiety. I was hoping to ease some of the anxiety by getting replies from girls who have gone through the same thing - but I guess that didn't work. :/

My anxiety about periods and pregnancy started back in June, when I got my first "pregnancy scare." After dry humping there was a massive wet spot on my underwear - I had expected my period that day, it didn't come, nor the day after that, and came in the evening on the third day. After that I've had two more "pregnancy scares" where basically, there really was nothing to be concerned about, I was just scared out of my mind I wouldn't get it. That I would be pregnant.

This would be my fourth "scare" making the grand total of "non-stressful" periods since June.. Two.

And that sucks.

Even on the earliest possible day I could get it - the 28th - if it doesn't come, I start to freak out.

The lack of breast tenderness has me foreseeing myself crying and stressing this upcoming week (the week I should get it, either Thursday, Friday, Saturday.)

I want so badly for everything to come on time and not to worry. That's why I wanted reassurance that girls had "missed" their PMS but still gotten their period.

Thanks for talking with me - I would love to hear back from you.

I also read all the links you gave me and they help - short term. A new day starts, and so does fresh anxiety.

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Redskies
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I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way, and have been for a while. It's not very fun.

This:
quote:
I also read all the links you gave me and they help - short term. A new day starts, and so does fresh anxiety.
is a classic incarnation of anxiety. We feel anxious, look for reassurance, get reassurance, feel better for a while, and then start feeling anxious again, look for reassurance again... and so on.

I think that getting reassurance about PMS and your period would only give you short-term relief, and leave you with the whole pattern happening again. That's not what we want for you.

I'd like you to read this piece You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are? and really think about each bit of it. Are there any points that strike a chord for you, anything that feels like it might be relevant?

If you can do that and share your thoughts with us, we can take it from there with finding the best way to help you move forward.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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scaredsickallthetime
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Yes! I love that article, I have read it twice. I think the "there will be consequences" thing strikes a chord with me.

It feels as if my boobs are getting slightly sore now, I'm 3-5 days away from my period. Now it has me thinking, "This isn't normal - pregnancy."

I knew that either way I wouldn't be happy. I am hoping to get my period without any tears this time around. I'll try to remain calm. [Smile]

But annnyway, the "consequences" part of it all. I always tell my parents I'm not "dumb enough to get pregnant" and then every month, when I have a concern, I start thinking, "This is going to be so awkward.. they're gonna be so disappointed..." and I didn't even partake in a pregnancy risk! I also realized how mean it is to say "dumb enough to get pregnant." I realize now that many girls (although they got farther than me) usually don't mean for it or didn't know it would happen.

In the article there is also a part where you say the person who is afraid is certain they will be that "one in a million" and that no such person exists. I like that. I def. think I am that 'one in a million.' I'm so happy to see that written somewhere other than my head - and disproved!

Of course I'm never fully relieved until I see red. I've learned to love my period. It means I'm not pregnant, it means I'm healthy, it means the body is ticking the way it should.

Sometimes I think I expect too much out of my poor old PMS and period. Over think it maybe? Anyway, I'm done writing on this post. I'm rambling. [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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It sounds like the article validated a lot of things that you already knew, but needed external validation on. Does that sound about right?

So, it seems to me that since your period is what really helps you feel okay, it would be beneficial to come up with other things that also help you feel calm and settled.

What are other things that, in general, help you relieve stress and worry?

I'm also wondering what you think you need in order to accept that your menstrual cycle isn't necessarily going to be the same every time? Most people's cycles will change at least once, and more often many times, throughout the years and decades they menstruate.

--------------------
Robin

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scaredsickallthetime
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Music, being with my boyfriend/friends (just generally being out) really helps. I don't know, keeping busy? When I'm busy I forgot why I'm worried at all.

I'm hoping to get my period as early as tomorrow (the 28th day) and no later than the 30th day. If it goes beyond the 30th I don't know what I'll do. As I said before, I've never been fingered with semen on the finger, most likely not even pre-cum, and I've never had genital-to-genital contact. I just.. am worried!

I think ever since my first pregnancy scare where my eyes were opened to all things sex (like how vaginal intercourse is not the *only* way pregnancy can happen..) I've had a hard time excepting my period may be different, late or not show up at all and the reason not being pregnancy related.

I don't think I'll be late even if my symptoms have changed this month. I sure hope not. The lack of breast tenderness freaked me out at first but I'm used to it now. If this isn't too personal - have you ever had a cycle where things switched up on you? Such as symptoms, or length? (Assuming you're a female.)

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Sam W
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I really suggest focusing on those activities you mentioned to help keep your anxiety away. It sounds like you know your worries are unfounded, so focusing on other things can help you push the anxiety out. If the fears start to come back, focus on the facts you've read here and ignore the "what ifs" (this can be hard at first, but is worth it)

Believe me, I know from personal experience that symptoms are cycles can be variable. I still have months where it doesn't arrive when I expect it to.

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scaredsickallthetime
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I had a pretty stress free day even though no period yet. However I was doing some research on dry sex and read that you CAN (although slim) get pregnant by dry sex. They make it sound like both would have adequate clothing on as well.

Can you clarify for me? Is their reasoning sound?

http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/sizzle/dry-humping-virgins-guide-to-orgasms

It's down towards the end of the article.

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Sam W
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Glad you are feeling less stressed.

The website you linked to is not written by health professionals or folks trained to provide sex ed, so it isn't a reliable a source on this issue.

This article might be a good one to have on hand when you're out reading things on the internet:Legit or Unfit? Finding Safe, Sound Sex Educators & Support Online

[ 11-21-2013, 10:21 PM: Message edited by: Sam W ]

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scaredsickallthetime
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I'm having a pretty hard time staying calm today. Anxiety in full swing. I'm beginning to think I have an anxiety disorder (although I don't want to blow things out of reality and get myself more upset.)

I have noticed a pattern, the months I am not concerned my period arrives in the morning-afternoon on the 28th or 29th day. The months I'm concerned it always comes at night on the 30th. Of course now I'm worried it won't come on the 30th either. I'm scared to take a test because I'm scared to see the results. I know you're willing to bet it'll be negative - but I'm so convinced it won't be.

This is really, really hard for me I don't know what to do. I'm somehow always able to convince myself that I do have a REAL pregnancy risk even though I'm sure the information you have given me is accurate, and I in fact, do not.

I have since decided to get a plan in action for birth control when I do end up having sex (which will be when I'm 60 and not even fertile - and STILL worry I'm pregnant.)

I don't know what you guys can do or say for me at this point but I do enjoy talking to experienced and sex-educated people about my fears. My friends are teenagers like myself and I don't entirely trust their sex advice - although they say I'm crazy. [Eek!]

Well, I'm off the internet for today. Going to try some serious self care. [Smile]

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Molias
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I think taking a break from the internet is a great plan! =)

One thing I'm wondering, though, is if you think it would be helpful to talk to someone about the strong feelings of anxiety you're mentioning. If you suspect you have an anxiety disorder, it may be helpful to talk to your normal doctor to see if they think it's worth referring you to a mental healthcare professional.
A great thing about getting support for anxiety is that it might help you build up a good toolkit you can rely on when your anxiety gets really strong - you can learn what specifically helps you step back and manage those feelings.

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