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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Period ?

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Author Topic: Period ?
Calliegrace
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Hello! So this morning I spotted dar brown or light pinkish type blood and about a few hours later I wiped and pink blood was on the toilet paper . Could this be my period starting !? I skipped last month and it's been about 8 weeks sincey last period . So could this be my period ?(:
Posts: 71 | From: Los angles | Registered: Sep 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Periods often start with some spotting, so it's very possible. The only way to know for sure though is to see what happens over the next few days.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Calliegrace
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I haven't had sex and the only thing I've had done close to a risk would be Precum on my finger and about 10 minute slater. I touched my Labia, which shouldn't be a risk right ?
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Redskies
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Hi, Calliegrace. Looking back at your previous posts, I can see that other staff and volunteers have given you the answer to this already. So, if you need to look back at those to find out, you can do that.

We can't keep answering this question about the same situation with you because, ultimately, that won't help you, and that means we're not doing our job. Our job, of course, is to help you! It's sounding like you're very stuck on worry about this. What usually happens for someone is that they worry, desperately need some reassurance, then get that reassurance, feel better for a little while, and then feel really worried again and look for reassurance again so they can feel better, and then they start worrying again... Do you think that's happening with you?

It's not right for us to keep giving reassurance because it keeps someone stuck in that cycle where they always, in the end, get back to worrying again. We don't want anyone to be in that kind of cycle. What we'd like to do is to help you find a way out of the cycle. I know you've been given a number of links already. Have they given you any thoughts about why you can't let this worry go, and would you like to talk about that?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Calliegrace
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Yes I do feel as if that is happening with me... I'm just so scared my period won't come each month. And when it didn't in September I nearly died lol but what could I do to regulate my period besides birth control??
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Heather
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And once more with feeling -- and some of what Redskies brought up, which is great feedback, is talked about here, too: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/youre_not_pregnant_why_do_you_think_you_are

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Redskies
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Calliegrace, from your previous posts, I'm seeing you talk about fear a lot, and strict parents, and your mom's concern about you not getting pregnant. Would it help you to talk about any of those things? Is there anything else that you think might be driving this worry that you'd like to talk about?

It's not possible to completely regulate someone's cycle. Even while taking the pill, it occasionally happens that a period does something different to what was expected. So, the solution for you here can't be about your cycle. A solution that really helps you get free of this, long-term, will involve tackling the fear itself and stopping it coming and gripping you so badly in the first place.

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Calliegrace
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We are definitely not going to be doing anything for a long time! And the only fear I had was my parents and of course the scare itself , but since I'm spotting red blood now , I'm guessing this is my period ?
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Calliegrace
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We are definitely not going to be doing anything for a long time! And the only fear I had was my parents and of course the scare itself , but since I'm spotting red blood now , I'm guessing this is my period ?
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Redskies
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It's not going to help you for us to focus on details of what might or might not be going on with your reproductive system, so we're not going to do that. I think you can know for yourself what it means, and again, us giving reassurance would be a way of keeping you stuck in the cycles, so we're not going to do that.

The sort of fear you've expressed, and the amount of times you've said it, don't sound like an "only" to me. It sounds like a big deal that's been bothering you a lot. It's ok for you to tell us how much and how often you have this fear - the only thing that's not ok is for us to have the same conversation about it that doesn't actually help you, because as I said, that would be us not doing our job.

As you have such fear, I think that not engaging in any sexual activities would be a good, strong choice for you to make. Do you feel ok about making that choice and being able to really live with it?

It's sounded like you have some difficulty with your mom focussing so much on you becoming, or not becoming, pregnant. Would you like any help with suggestions about how to improve that situation any?

[ 10-30-2013, 10:09 PM: Message edited by: Redskies ]

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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Calliegrace
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I do feel good about making that choice and sticking with it , because that way I won't have to stress out every month , but yes I would like my mother to take me to the doctor to get this checked out and try to see why my period is irregular , so any suggestions on how to ask her to bring me ?
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Karybu
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How about just starting by saying that you're worried because your period seems to be a bit irregular and you'd like to have it checked by a doctor? Is that something you'd feel comfortable with?

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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Calliegrace
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Yes it is something I am comfortable with, this morning when I wiped there was alittle brownish reddish blood .... Should I be worried about implantation bleeding ?):
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Calliegrace
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Hello scarleteen I got my period today! Thank you so much for the information you provided me with , I have one question though, so i touched my boyfriends dick that had Precum on it, I didn't finger myself or anything right after but I did touch my labia about 5-10 minutes later and I had touched his shirt , hair, door knob and my cloths to bathe with before I did touch myself , so there's no risk there right ?(: and also doesn't a period mean no pregancy?
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Heather
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I'm sure we've given you these links that have this information you're asking for already, but here they are again:
• Can I Get Pregnant, or Get or Pass On an STI From That?
• Pregnancy Scared?

But you know, I'd say it's really clear that even though the things you have been doing do not pose pregnancy risks, they are continuing to create a lot of anxiety for you. They are very obviously seriously freaking you out. So I would strongly suggest you rethink continuing to do them, and instead consider staying away from things that freak you out like this for now.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Calliegrace
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They do and I have stopped but I had done the last thing I asked about two days before my period started so I was scared that mi would be pregnant after my period ... So a period means no pregnancy right? Even if it's a day after a risk?
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Heather
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Callie, when you read what I gave you there, and all we have with your many posts about this so far, have you read anything that said you have HAD a risk?

If the answer is no, perhaps you can understand why asking about this per a day after a risk is asking us about something that is not related to reality.

I've set a lot of limits with you that I feel you keep walking over, and I am just not okay with that. Clearly, you need to find some ways to manage your anxiety here, and I'd say that includes taking the advice we keep giving you, again and again, about not focusing on the irrational parts of your fears or looking over and over and over again for reassurance, which, as we explain here -- http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/youre_not_pregnant_why_do_you_think_you_are -- is something known to serve people suffering with anxiety very poorly, rather than helping people manage it or let it go.

Here's what I'm going to do: I'm going to suggest you take a one week break away from here and any other space that talks about sex and pregnancy. Instead, I suggest you focus on learning some coping tools with this anxiety, and do things like we have suggested in the conversations we have had with you which ARE productive.

Obviously, it's your choice to do those things or not, but I think that what we need to do, for everyone's sake, is insist on that one week off from posting here, regardless of what else you do with that time. I'm going to ask you hear that limit and respect it.

We'll see you in another week should you want or need to come back here for anything else, okay? I hope you use it to try some new approaches that I believe are way more likely to leave you feeling better and less focused on this.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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