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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Raped a few months ago?

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Author Topic: Raped a few months ago?
SJ_85
Neophyte
Member # 107283

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Hi,
I don't really know how I should stsrt this off, but my friend raped me at a bonfire back in April. The story is my friend and I were asleep, then the guys come in and fall asleep. Then he wakes up and I'm also awake and he sort of hops/crawls over her and next to me after touching my back. Long story short he rapes me and I didn't tell the cops for a month. So far, nothing aside from taking srstements (that I'm aware of) has been done. (Also, it was a dry party, no drugs or alcohol). Since then I know I've changed, my best friend who he raped me next to tells me I'm alot different. I know I'm emotionally wrecked but I refuse to get help and I know it's eating me alive. What do I do? I'm terrified to show anybody these emotions and even typing this now I'm nervous and skeptical.
Any help is appreciated.

Posts: 14 | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SJ_85
Neophyte
Member # 107283

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Also it's bad enough that I've been questioning my sexuality ( I identify as a lesbian). I'm 17 but was 16 when it happened; since then I've done some things I'm not proud of. I also don't know what the law in CT is for this; he was 18 when he did it and still is.
Thanks again.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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SJ: I'm so sorry that you were assaulted, but I am glad you felt able to come back here and ask for more help.

I think the best place to start is with what you think you'd be comfortable doing.

By all means, you could start talking with a qualified counselor specifically for sexual assault victims. That person or service should have been offered to you when you reported, but if it wasn't, we'd be happy to look into what may be available to you locally.

Or, you could seek out a support group, for something similar.

If you think following up with the police about the state of your case would help, that's also an option.

You can seriously amp your self-care, we can suggest books to read about healing from assault, you can talk with other assault survivors here...what sounds like a step you feel up to trying to take? What do YOU think you need and would benefit most from right now?

[ 10-06-2013, 09:03 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SJ_85
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I think right now I'd like to start with talking to other victims; I can't see talking to a counselor in person because I'm just not ready for that.
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi SJ,

Sure thing.

You have a few options for talking with other people who have experienced assault, and you can use as many of those as you'd like at the same time.

Many sexual assault centers run support groups. It's usually a counselor who runs these groups, but the work is in a group setting, with group members supporting and helping each other. In other words, it's not one-on-one counseling. Does this sound like a comfortable option for you? If so, we can help you find support groups in your area.

You can also make a post here at our forums asking for support and input from other assault survivors. Many of our staff, volunteers, and users have experienced assault and would be happy to talk with you.

For online support, I'd also suggest checking out www.pandys.org. They have some fantastic resources, and several forums where assault survivors talk to and support each other.


Other folks here may have other suggestions. If there are any other resources you feel like you need right now, or things you want to talk about, please don't hesitate to ask.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SJ_85
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Both the actual support group and the online ones sound great. How do I get involved?
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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To find a support group in your area, you'd want to look for services for sexual assault survivors. If you're comfortable giving us your zipcode, we'd be happy to take a look and see what services are available near you.

To access the forums at pandy's, go to http://www.pandys.org.

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Robin

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SJ_85
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Thank you, my zip code is 06441.
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SJ_85
Neophyte
Member # 107283

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Also, is ongoing sexual harassment considered ssexual abuse? This kid harrassed me for 6 months before that.
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi SJ,

Sexual harassment is just as much of a violation as physical forms of sexual violence. It's also a crime just like physical forms of sexual violence are.

This article on our site includes some definitions of sexual violence that I think you might find it validating to read.

Dealing With Rape


Looking at your local resources, I suggest you start with the YWCA. they run support groups, and will be able to help you find other local resources if you should need them.

http://ywcanewbritain.org/

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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