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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » General Questions

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Author Topic: General Questions
mycatisfat333
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Member # 107856

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Hi [Smile]

Nothing urgent or anything. Just had a few questions I was wondering if I'd perhaps get some answers to?

Number one; how exactly do you contract an STI?
Number two; can you get one from somebody if you are eachothers only sexual partners EVER?
Number three; is it safe enough to not use a condom on the Depo Provera shot?
Number four; I bleed pretty much every time my boyfriend and I have sex. We have done it around 15 times in total and although it doesn't hurt (except for the first few times), I bleed either after or during it. It is really annoying and I have no idea why this is happening? Then, sometimes I feel a stinging sensation down below where my boyfriend poked me too hard I think. I'm just worried because there's no way I have an STI right? We have been each others only sexual partners.

Sorry for all the questions! Just had a lot sitting on my mind but I feel better knowing hopefully I will be getting some answers soon?! [Smile]

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey mycatisfat!

Let me have a crack at your questions.

1: There are lots of STIs so some are viruses (HIV, HPV, Herpes), others are bacteria (chlamydia, gonorrhoea), others are fungal and some are infections of tiny organisms.

This means that they all pass in different ways, but are a set of diseases that are passed through some forms of sexual intercourse. Some of them can be passed non-sexually, some tend not to. For the most part the infection passes through direct contact and often through bodily fluids, although sometimes via skin-to-skin contact. Each virus will behave in a unique way once it jumps from your body to another person's. It can be a localised infection which leaves a person's body when their symptoms clear up or it can be something that stays in a person's blood stream and produce future flair ups and potential to infect others.

2: You can... although of course the less unprotected sex you've both had the less likely it is that you will have caught infections that spread sexually, if one of you has something it may easily pass between you.

3: We usually say that 6 months of barriered protected sex with a partner followed by STI testing every 6 months is a good way to go. But I think when it comes to endorsing someone's choices, really the decision is up to you.

For example, I'm quite comfortable using latex barriers and I rather prefer making it so that my partner's monogamy isn't something that my STI risk will hinge on... whereas someone else might be totally comfortable with that and prefer to take on the STI risk which always exists in sexual relationships.

So, risks exist, it's just up to you whether you and your partner openly communicate about wanting to take those risks (and then manage them), or whether you'd both prefer to avoid them.

4. As per the bleeding, it sounds like that might be from friction, in which case you might want to consider using some lubrication. This would keep the skin from rubbing too much and likely prevent much of the bleeding.

Some of the bleeding could also have been because sex might have loosened up some trapped menstruation blood, depending on your cycle, but there isn't a lot you can do about that. But it sounds to me more like the friction.

I don't think it necessarily points to an STI, but a useful fact to know is that when there are abrasions from sex, the likelihood of STIs being able to transmit is higher.

I hope that helps!

Here's an article about lube and a directory of our STI files:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/sti_risk_assessment_the_cliffs_notes
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/lube_101_a_slick_little_primer

[ 08-04-2013, 06:43 AM: Message edited by: Jacob at Scarleteen ]

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mycatisfat333
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Member # 107856

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Hey [Smile] thanks for all of that! Was extremely helpful [Smile] I went to my local family planning clinic yesterday to talk to them a outs bleeding during sex. The nurse did some swans and stuff and said they'd get the results back in about five days. I'm really worried and just want some reassurance. What could be causing the bleeding? I am on the Depo shot and I don't get my period on it. I just am a bit freaked out as I had a pregnancy scare early this year and I get very worried about these kind of things. So any ideas why I could be bleeding after sex? I can't remember if it happens every single time but it happened the last time I had sex, and the time before that at least. Please help! I'm so worried [Frown]
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Robin Lee
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Hi mycatisfat333,

Did the nurse you spoke with at the clinic have any thoughts? Go you for getting yourself some healthcare!

There are lots of reasons someone might bleed with intercourse, and it would be impossible for me to say why *you* are bleeding.

Vulvar and vaginal tissues are delicate and sensitive and can easily be irritated or abraded. When you engage in intercourse, do you use a lubricant? Lube can reduce friction and so reduce the likelihood that there will be bleeding.

Are you having any pain or irritation during or after intercourse?

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Robin

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mycatisfat333
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No, I don't have any pain during intercouse but I still bleed. Would the most likely reason perhaps be a small cut down there or something? But if I had one; wouldn't the nurse have noticed? And no she didn't say what it could be but it made me nervous when she said she was going to do some tests and stuff. What are the most common reasons behind bleeding during intercourse? Also I am on the depo shot if that's of any revelance to it? [Smile]
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Robin Lee
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Did the nurse tell you what she was testing for? one of the reasons for bleeding is an STI, and testing for those would be sound anyway since you're engaging in partnered sexual activity.

While this piece is geared to a question about first intercourse, the reasons given for bleeding can apply to intercourse at any time.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/one_bloody_mess_myths_realities_of_bleeding_with_first_intercourse

In addition to using Depo Provera for birth control, have you also been using condoms to reduce your STI risks? are you using any lubricant with intercourse?

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Robin

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mycatisfat333
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Member # 107856

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She just said she was going to do some tests and that was it. And I really hope it's not an STI as I'm not that kind of person at all [Frown] and sometimes we use condoms. We did use them all the time before I got the depo shot but since I got it; we don't use condoms as often although I think I may suggest we start using them every time again; just for a peace of mind about everything [Smile] good idea??? And no we have never used lubricant. Would me bleeding be due to perhaps his height? He's extremely tall and he is quite large, you know. So yeah. Thank you!!!
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Robin Lee
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For future reference, you can always ask a nurse or other healthcare provider what they're testing you for, or to explain anything that they've said. Really, they should be giving you this information anyway, but if they don't, you have a right to ask. It's your body.

There's no kind of person who does or doesn't get STIs, just like there's no kind of person who does or doesn't get cancer, the flu, bronchitis, or multiple sclerosis. STIs are medical problems like any other medical problems; the only difference is that they are primarily transmitted sexually (and know that some of them can also be transmitted by non-sexual means).

There's no type of person who does or doesn't engage in sexual activity with other people, so everyone who does do that has the potential to catch or transmit and STI. See what I mean?

I'd strongly suggest that you use condoms for all genital sexual contact, and for oral sex as well if you engage in that activity. I'm guessing that you've never, to your knowledge, been tested for STIs, and that you don't know if your partner has been tested. Given this, it's important for your health, and his, to practice safer sex.

I'm going to give you some articles that will expand on what I've just said.


Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To



STI Risk Assessment: The Cliff's Notes
What Safer Sex Isn't

As to bleeding with intercourse, if you haven't used lubricant that's the first place i'd suggest starting. It'll be particularly important to use lubricant with condoms as it does reduce friction; too much friction can increase the risk that condoms will break.

Here's some information on lubricant.

Lube 101: A Slick Little primer

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Robin

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mycatisfat333
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Hey there [Smile] I thinkm the nurse did test me for STI's as well [Smile] and really? So if somebody sleeps with somebody and they both have never had sex and they don't use a condom; is the risk of either of them getting an sti extremely low ? Becuse that's what my health teacher said [Smile] she said its very unlikely to get an Sti if you are each others only sexual partners ever. Also so do you think the reson for me bleeding during sex is not usin lube?? Also one more thing; I am on the depo shot and I have had it once and I got my period about 6 weeks after I got it but now I'm bleeding vey lightly and I have no idea why that is?? I thought the shot stopped my period?? Thanks [Smile] sorry. I was in a hurry typing this
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Robin Lee
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Hi There,

you know, it really depends on what people mean by first partner. A lot of people's definitions of sex are different. So, say, if someone had been with a previous partner, never had intercourse but did have oral sex, they might say that they'd never had sex. Oral sex, as you saw form the articles I linked you to, is a way someone can contract an STI.

I certainly can't say for sure if the bleeding is from not using lubricant, but not using lubricant is a common reason for someone to bleed or feel irritated, so it's a good, and easy, place to start.

People can experience bleeding when using hormonal birth control. Medical professionals call that break-through bleeding. if you're concerned at all about the bleeding you can consult a healthcare provider.

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Robin

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mycatisfat333
Neophyte
Member # 107856

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Hey there [Smile]
Well when I say only sexual partner ever I mean him and I have never engaged in oral or vaginal sex with anybody except each other [Smile] and okay thanks. So do you think it's a good idea to use lubricant and see if that helps??

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Robin Lee
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I very much think it's a good idea to try lubricant and see what sort of difference that makes.

here's some information on safer sex, and on lube.

Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To

Lube 101: A Slick Little primer

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Robin

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