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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » tried to have sex, extremely painful. Help?

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Author Topic: tried to have sex, extremely painful. Help?
Nomi
Neophyte
Member # 108120

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I have been with my boyfriend for almost 8 months and we have both wanted to have sex for a while.
A few days ago we tried (protected by condom and pill) and it was extremely painful for me and he wasn't even inside of me that far, or maybe not at all. We ended up having to stop. Anyways after he left I noticed I was bleeding a bit near the opening of my vagina as if I had cut my self or something similar.
So I was wondering if he or I was doing something wrong, because I feel like it shouldn't be this painful, and it's not like I wasn't turned on or anything. Is there something different we should be doing/using? I should also say that although I am almost 17 I only weigh 85 pounds and am pretty short, so could I possibly be too small??
He is fine with waiting as long as it takes and doing other sexual activities but I would like this to work and I don't want to be worried about whether there is something wrong with me forever.
Sorry if this was so long. Thank you :/

Edit: this was also my first time.

[ 07-31-2013, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: Nomi ]

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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hi Nomi and welcome to Scarleteen,

A few questions:

did you use extra lubricant? When using condoms, that's pretty important for reducing friction. Reducing friction makes things more comfortable and can prevent or reduce the likelihood of bleeding.

Did you take the time to do other sexual activities before starting intercourse? I know you said you were plenty turned on, but I just wanted to check on that.

is vaginal entry new for you? That is, have you experienced entry from tampons, or from your own or your partner's fingers or was this the first time for vaginal entry of any kind?


I'm giving you a few articles to read so we can be on the same page with figuring out what is going on here.

First Intercourse 101


From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Nomi
Neophyte
Member # 108120

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Hi Robin,
I did not use lubricant, so it's possible the condom could have caused some friction, although the condom came with some on it.
We did do some foreplay. And vaginal entry with fingers, etc. is not new for me... I guess it is possible that I was not turned on enough, but that isn't usually something that is hard to do for me.

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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Hi there Nomi,

Well, the first thing I'd suggest trying then is some lubricant. The lube on condoms generally isn't enough, and when using condoms you want to make sure things are slippery enough that there isn't too much friction. Too much friction can increase the risk of the condom breaking.

Also, one of the things the birth control pill does is to thicken cervical mucus, so folks on the pill often find that using lube is especially helpful as their own secretions aren't as slippery.

What do you think about giving lube a try and seeing what happens?

Were you able to read the articles I linked you to? If so, did anything strike you there as being something you hadn't considered or tried?

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Robin

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Nomi
Neophyte
Member # 108120

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I will have to try it. And yes I did read them, I hadn't really considered where to put the lube so that's nice to know. Also the part about assisting your partner with insertion and such. So thank you. [Smile] I feel much better about everything now.
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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You're welcome!

Best of luck with everything!

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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