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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » sexual activities and vaginal discomfort

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Author Topic: sexual activities and vaginal discomfort
afrojunk
Activist
Member # 104756

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Hello,
I have a girlfriend for about 2 months and yesterday we had some outercourse. Just manual sex. The thing is that she said that fingering started to hurt after a while. It was a oversensitive feeling she said. On the one side, she found it good and on the other side it became more painful. I have had manual sex with other girls so i know that i aint doing it wrong or harsh.

I talked with her about it and she said that she rarely masturbates. So i said, that i might be smart for her to begin masturbating because her vagina and/or clitoris might nog be used to the fingering. (i dont know if that might be an solution, but it sounded kinda logical)

Now i may not be an expert, but i hope someone can help me and her. I want her to feel good about this to.

[ 07-07-2013, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: afrojunk ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, what other girls liked actually can't tell you much about what your girlfriend likes. Just because they all have the same parts doesn't mean they all feel the same ways. People can experience sex of any kind very differently, even with the same body parts. And not everyone has the same kind or level of sensitivity: some people are more or less sensitive to certain kinds of touch than others.

Masturbation isn't really about "getting used to" something a sexual partner is doing. It's about seeking pleasure by ourselves, for ourselves. And chances are good that even if she had masturbated in the past, what felt not good, or like to much for her with you? Probably still wouldn't have felt good. Who knows, maybe it would have been different, but it's not like masturbation changes someone's physical sensitivity: it doesn't.

So, when she said one side, or way, felt good and the other felt painful, did you change up what you were doing to stop doing what didn't feel good to her, and stick to what she DID enjoy?

[ 07-07-2013, 02:07 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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