Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Better safe than sorry?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Better safe than sorry?
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So I tried to do a topic on this earlier, but it wasn't letting me and I was busy, so yeah.

I've only had PIV sex the once, and any other kinds of sex I had were with that same person. We used both condoms and the pill, so we obliterated any chance of me getting pregnant - this was in November, so obviously it was a while ago. What I'm worried about now is my STI status.

I've not seen or felt any symptoms that would indicate that I would have an STI, he didn't seem to have any signs on him either, and we used a condom too, so I'm not sure it's likely. However, he'd had one sexual partner before me (fairly sure they were both virgins, though?), and despite dating him for a while, I never asked him about his STI status, nor was the possibility of him giving me an STI ever mentioned (we both insisted on using a condom for sex, but that was so we could definitely prevent me from getting pregnant). So even though I'm fairly sure I don't have anything, I can't help but worry about this idea that I could have gotten something - and not only that, that whatever hidden infection I've got has had months to ravage my insides without me knowing it. On top of that, I've just come home from uni, so I can't use my university's STI Clinic to check until I go back there in September. I'm registered for that clinic, so getting an appointment there would not only be more difficult and a lengthier process than it would have been for my uni, but it would mean having to tell my mum about it, which would mean telling her that I've had sex, which would earn me the sternest, most disappointment-filled lecture I'd ever get in my life.

So, do I try and organise a check-up when I can? Do I have any reason to worry at all? And if I do have something, how worried should I be over that?

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, not to scare you, but just to be factual, most of the time, most STIs, for most people don't show any noticeable symptoms. That's why testing is so important: going by symptoms just isn't at all reliable.

This -- and your worries -- is also why we, like most sexual health orgs, just suggest that people who have been sexually active get regularly tested. If you're in a monogamous relationship that's been going on for more than a year, and it's staying that way, then once a year, sometimes only once every two years, is what most healthcare providers would recommend, for both partners.

You're in the UK, so you have access to testing through your national health via GUM clinics. You can go get that care without informing your parents, so why don't you just go do that so you don't have to stress about this?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68225 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just did a quick google search to find my local clinic (that isn't the doctor's office in my home village, because I seriously can't go there), and I remember a friend of mine telling me about how she went there once and felt that the staff were really unfriendly. I think she mentioned them giving her dirty looks and the like? Which is absolutely not what I need right now.

I might ask that friend to come with me, but the idea still feels kind of awkward to me. I so hugely assured my parents that I was most definitely not going to have sex with the person I had sex with (my at the time - and now entirely - ex boyfriend, we were meant to be "just friends" at the time) and that he was "getting the floor-space" when he slept over, I kind of feel like, if I did catch something from him, then it would be karma biting me in the *** for breaking my word. I know that isn't true, but it's a hard thought to shake off.

I think the fact that it was only the once bothers me too - I'm not monogamous with this person, we broke up a while back. I'm really worried, if this is what I have to do having had sex once, what my life will have to be like if I have sex with other people? Will I have to test every single time? I don't want to have sex - any kind of sex with anyone - and then start worrying about the variety of diseases I may have caught, regardless of how protected I was. Which, considering how much of a worrier I can be, is a reasonable fear - I don't want to get that hung up on it, even though I know it's important.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'd be very surprised to say the staff gave her dirty looks about taking care of her sexual health at a clinic that's expressly for people taking care of their sexual health. can I suggest you put a little less stock in what this friend said? It's entirely possible she was just nervous and uncomfortable and projecting: people do it all the time around sexual healthcare, alas, especially when they're new to getting it.

Infections aren't "karma." I mean, you get to believe what you want to believe, but a) karma actually isn't so simple a concept as the way people talk about it like this (nor is it "instant" in this way: if karma is a thing you're going to believe in, this isn't a correct framework for that concept and belief), and more to the point b), infections, be they colds or chlamydia, aren't about what people do or don't deserve, nor any kind of punishment from on high. They're just things we sometimes have to deal with by virtue of being human and having bodies.

Like I said, testing isn't about something we do or need to do every time we engage in sex. rather, it's something we'll ideally do regularly after we start being sexually active, and for most people, regularly means once a year or so. For people who change sexual partners more frequently than once a year, or have concurrent partners, they're often advised to do more like testing twice a year. But not every time they engage in sex: that's not how testing works, and that's not necessary or sound.

I can't tell you how to manage your fears here. Again, we live in bodies, bodies that can catch infections and diseases, including due to sexual contact. That's just life, and it actually always has been through history for everyone, so far as we know. But what we also know is that practicing safer sex, consistently and correctly, MASSIVELY reduces those risks: so, if you're doing that, AND getting tested? Then while one can't say STIs aren't something you have to still figure are a risk, what one can say is that they're typically a small one. Smaller than say, the concern we might similarly have every time we ride in a car or a bus where our risk of injury is far higher.

[ 06-15-2013, 10:39 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68225 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
HI Derpy,

You know, there is a bit of a different way to look at this, and that is, since you are now sexually active, the sound and healthy thing for you to do is to start your sexual healthcare. Sure, it's possible that you did contract an STI, but regardless of that, this is just part of the healthcare you need to do for yourself. In other words, if we had a crystal ball and could say that we know Derpy doesn't have an STI, we'd still recommend that you get yourself tested. Does that make sense?

In terms of worrying about STIs after sex, generally what people do if they are not in a monogamous relationship, is to put themselves on a testing schedule, such as going every 3 months or every 6 months to get tested, regardless of what they have or haven't done and with whom they have or haven't done it.

If you're worried about going to the clinic, taking a trusted friend with you sounds, to me, like a good idea.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
She could have been, yeah. But then, she might not have been. My worry is that it's the latter. I know it's not likely, but still. It kind of bothers me that she's the only friend I can really go to with this, seeing as so many of my close and readily available friends are boys - the only girls I'm close to enough to trust with this are her and my sister, who I can't go to about this either (just in case she accidentally or not-so-accidentally tells mum about it).

When I say "karma", I don't mean literal karma - more the general idea of me being punished for doing something bad. Even though I know I didn't do a bad thing, I KNOW that - it's still something I've been trying to get over. The month after I'd had sex, I got my period, and I was just so relieved, because even though I knew it was next to impossible for me to get pregnant, I was still worried about it because I figured it would have happened anyway. I'm a sex-positive individual, I shouldn't be having thoughts like this, but I still can't help but frame it as some kind of punishment, a sort of "serves you right" for doing what I shouldn't have done. And I don't see it that way with other people, either - if someone else gets an STI, or gets pregnant, then that's just bad luck on their part. I have no idea why I can't apply that logic to myself.

I guess another thing I have to ask is that, if I did catch something, is the fact that I've left it so late to test a bad thing? Like, how badly could I have been effected by this?

I know it's something I have to do, and that putting it off was really stupid of me. Still, I can't help but be nervous about it.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, we do know that some STIs do get worse over time and do more damage. however, we really can't give you a more specific answer.

There are often a lot of things that we have to do even though we're nervous. [Smile] Making the nervousness go away before you get this taken care of probably isn't something you can do, since part of what will calm your nerves is to take care of this and get the answers you need to make good decisions about your health.

So, I'd suggest just taking a deep breath and making the leap to do it. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Also, a question: Why can't you ask a male friend for support with this?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well then, if I have something, then I'm basically screwed, aren't I? Because that was back in November, and it's now June and that's about seven months of any possible illness messing up my innards.

I know. I'm assuming they'd give me any treatment while I'm there? Or would I have to come back for another appointment?

I don't feel I'd be comfortable enough. I've discussed some sex-related things with one of my male friends, but even then, it was skimming over the details. I just don't think I have the sort of friendship with these boys that would allow me to be comfortable going to them with this.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I didn't say you'd be screwed. [Smile] There's really just no way for any of us to know whether you have anything or how, or if, it's affected you.

That's certainly fair that you don't feel comfortable asking any of your male friends for help.

However, I do think you need to figure out what you're going to do about this, because we really are getting into the realm of questions that no one can answer but a medical test. [Smile]

So, how are you going to push through this discomfort so you can take care of yourself and get some answers?

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You know, I also want to drop a reminder in here that LOTS of people have illnesses and infections, including sexually transmitted infections. Some members of our community will be, are, those people, so I'm getting uncomfortable with some of how you're talking about this here.

I get you're scared, but I ask you please refrain from talking about STIs like they're a death sentence, the end of life, or mean someone is "screwed." Usually, with most STIs, all it means is someone needs a round of antibiotics and then they're the same as they always were, just like when someone gets strep throat.

Other STIs require ongoing treatment or management, and don't go away, but that also doesn't mean everyone with them is screwed. It means they have an illness, that's all.

For sure, when STIs go untreated, they can sometimes create some long-term health issues. Again, this is why regular testing is so important. You didn't start that before now. Okay: so you start now, that's all. And you see what happens. But since it sounds like you used condoms, safer sex, for the sex you engaged in, it's far more likely you don't have an STI than it is that you do.

But even if you did? Life really would go on: it does for most people, okay?

[ 06-15-2013, 11:47 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68225 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sorry. I'm just kind of worried, in case it is something serious.

I've sent my aforementioned female friend a messages saying that I have a possibly uncomfortable favour to ask of her - she hasn't responded yet, but if she does, and she'd be willing to do that, then I assume we'd organise a trip to town to get that done? I'm not sure how these tests are done, do you need to phone in an appointment first?

If she can't go with me, then I'd go up to town by myself and do it. A part of me thinks that maybe that'd be better, more private. I will be going at some point, though, I don't want this hanging over me for that much longer.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I hear you, but I think the one you're bringing certainly isn't going to help you, and it also further stigmatizes people with illness, which doesn't help anybody, you know?

To find out if your clinic does walk-in testing or not is something you'd find out by calling them and asking.

But generally, yes, testing involves making an appointment.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68225 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, she's just responded being REALLY nice, saying that of course she'll come with me and she sympathises, having been in that position herself. So I don't think she's going to shame me at all for it? If she was imagining dirty looks, then I don't think it was because she herself was ashamed at the idea of having an STI.

She's immediately mentioned looking up clinic opening times and the like, so yeah, I'm glad I mentioned it to her. :3 My friends can be great sometimes.

It's apparently walk-in if you get there early enough (which is admittedly how my local doctor's office works, so this doesn't surprise me) and we've generally organised it as a girl's day out, so yeah. I'm feeling a lot better now that I have a plan, and a non-scary plan at that.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Glad you feel more relieved for having made a decision and taken some action. [Smile]

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well that was a delightfully pointless experience.

I went to the clinic, me and my friend sat in the waiting room, and I filled out a form. Considering what I was later told, I must point out that the form included a side for sexual health and I was able to tick "nothing's wrong/routine check-up". Gave the form in, waited, and went in. I briefly explained my situation to the doctor, and she was nice and understood and totally wasn't mean about it (she even said called me a good girl for using condoms, it was nice but odd because I wasn't expecting it)...

At which point she told me that the clinic didn't actually have the equipment needed for an STI screening, so I now have to go somewhere else.

I'm sorry, I can't help but be annoyed at this. All the signs said that this clinic dealt with sexual health issues. The form made it clear that it dealt with sexual health issues. And then I suddenly get told it's in an entirely different building? Using Google Maps (which I still hate oh my god), I've found a route I can take to this new building, but it's a long walk in parts of town that I'm not familiar with (which is never good considering I'm no good with directions). I can make it there, yeah, but I'm still annoyed that I could have saved myself a trip into town.

My actual day out was nice, I spent money that I maybe shouldn't have, it was nice seeing my friend and the people at the clinic were actually really nice, but still, my problem hasn't been resolved and won't be until Thursday or Friday next week. I was reassured that my risk of having anything was very low, but they did agree that it was the best thing for me to have turned up.

[ 06-22-2013, 07:58 PM: Message edited by: Derpy Hooves ]

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hey Durpy,

That's certainly frustrating that you went in thinking the clinic did STI screenings but they don't. Do they specifically say on their Web site or in their literature that they do STI screenings? However, it sounds like you had a positive experience with the healthcare providers and they helped you figure out where you need to go and what you need to do. Getting good healthcare is often a process, rather than one-stop shopping. [Smile]


Best of luck later this week.

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I guess it's just that when you have friends who've had STI screenings in that building, and the building has signs up saying that they have sexual health services, and the forms they give you to fill out include sections about providing STI screenings and other services, then it's easy to assume that they actually do STI services in that building, right?

Having checked the net, the alternative place is the first result to come up, so yeah, that's definitely the place I have to go to. I'm glad, having looked at a map, that it's mostly in a straight line from somewhere I know, but still, I do have a feeling I'd get lost somehow.

Thanks. I'll see if this place is just as nice to me, too.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So I had the test done a few days ago, and it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be - the nurse was really nice (she noticed I had a Marvel comics bag, and started talking with me about how her husband was a big comics fan too. also, she really liked my DM's), and the doctor was as reassuring as she could be, telling me what she was doing and why. So that was okay.

Still, waiting for the results is scary, even though I'm sure I don't have anything. I mean, the doctor mentioned that I looked clear of herpes and genital warts, and I figure that if I had something serious like Syphilis or HIV, then I'd have had it long enough for it to start negatively effecting my health, right? I've looked up initial symptoms of HIV (apparently, flu-like symptoms a few weeks after infection), and I've had none of them as far as I'm aware, and the same goes with Syphilis. But I'm still really scared that I have something terrible.

An extra question: I intend to donate blood on the 17th (that is, if my results are clean, which I'm assuming they are - I'll have found out by then anyway). Would I have to mention my STI screening, and would having that so close to the donation mean that I wouldn't be able to donate?

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm glad you got your tests done ok and that the experience was reasonable [Smile] I hear you that waiting on the results can be scary. Certainly the first time I was waiting for results, I found it unexpectedly unnerving, and I went in without any real concern that I might have an infection. From what you've said about your potential risks, it really sounds like this screening for you is very much a routine check and that you don't have a solid reason for real worry. So, seems like it's time to be secure in the knowledge that you're taking care of your health as best you can by getting the testing done, try not to sweat the results, and distract yourself until the results come in.

In terms of symptoms, absence of symptoms is really no secure indicator that we don't have an STI, as often they don't present with symptoms. However, as I said, the potential risks you stated here are very low, so you really can think of this testing as routine and as no cause for concern. And again, as Heather said above, most STIs really aren't "terrible", as they're very treatable so long as they're diagnosed. Even HIV, while a serious illness and something I'd encourage people to protect themselves and others from, is a manageable illness.

When you donate blood, you don't need to tell them you've recently had an STI screening (unless, of course, this is on the list of things they ask you to tell them - I don't believe it is, but I'm medically excluded from donation). If you're thinking about the amounts of blood involved, the amount removed for testing is much less than for a donation, and it's definitely not a problem several weeks - or even several days - apart. (If this was in the other order, with testing a few days after donation, I'd ask the testing people just to make sure.) If you're thinking about a possible infection risk for recipients, don't worry. The blood service tests blood for infections. The only time one should inform them - and probably not donate - is if we've had a real, likely risk within a few weeks of donation (because some infections don't show up in tests so soon). Those kinds of risks will almost certainly be covered by the questions and information the blood donation service give out about when not to donate and when to check with them. If you're all good according to the blood donation service's info, then you can be assured it's fine. (Obviously, one should also not donate if we have a real concern that we could be HIV positive or have hepatitis, but that's not the situation you're presenting above. It's also covered in the blood donation service's questions.)

Here's the blood donation service site http://www.blood.co.uk/ and here's their information on who's allowed to donate http://www.blood.co.uk/can-i-give-blood/ They have an advice line number listed too: 0300 123 2323

Regarding the run-around you had in order to get tested, I do find that UK sexual health services can be pretty confusing. There are a range of different services doing different things, and it's not always clear what a service does. There are a number of services which only offer very reduced STI testing - for example, only chlamydia. My suggestion with any kind of sexual health or contraception issue or clinic is always to call the clinic beforehand and ask if they provide the specific services you're looking for, and when.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, I meant to say too, do you have an arrangement with the clinic for getting results? I just ask because with some UK services, if you don't need another appointment for more health services, what happens is they only contact you with results if you test positive for something, and they don't contact you at all if everything's negative, so you just know when you haven't heard anything for 2 weeks that everything was negative. That could be unnecessarily unsettling if someone wasn't expecting that system.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah. I'm doing my best not to worry. That the whole thing has mostly been a secret doesn't make it that much better. I managed to tell my sister about it (because we would be in town at the same time and mum was like "I could drop you off too?" and I'm like "nope, fine with the bus"), and she did shed some light as to why my mum seemed so disapproving - basically, that I'm the baby of the family, so not only do they expect me to be all sweet and innocent, but they don't think I can handle these things because I'm the youngest. Lovely.

That's good to know. It's just that normally you have to fill out the forms before you donate, and I couldn't remember if that was mentioned on there.

I think I have to phone them when I want the results. They gave me a card and explained that to me.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Sometimes not being able to share something naturally and openly can really add to a sense of stress about it. With the few people who know you went to get tested, do you feel able to share with them that you're feeling uncomfortable waiting for the results? Sometimes just sharing a feeling like that can really help.

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Got the results back - negative for everything, I'm all clear. So that's good. [Big Grin]

I'm wondering if I should tell my ex that I did that, though? If anything, it might prompt him to get a check-up if he hasn't already.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's your ex.

If you had had positive results come back, by all means, that's something to fill previous partners in on.

But I'd say that unless the two of you are close friends still and talk about things like this, I don't see that this is something to share, nor that it's really good boundaries to be trying to push an ex to get tested. Their sexual healthcare is really their own business when you're not with them anymore. It's on him if he takes care of it or not.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68225 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Burdened with glorious booty
Activist
Member # 93241

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Burdened with glorious booty     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Which is fair enough. I couldn't really imagine a way of putting it that wouldn't cause confusion, worry or outright offence, so it's probably best to leave it.

--------------------
Ta-da!

Posts: 130 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3