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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Condoms after ejaculation

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Author Topic: Condoms after ejaculation
gingervitis
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Hi, y'all. I'm feeling a little flustered and hoped you might be able to help. I slept with someone new last night, and I didn't realize he had finished for, I guess, several minutes until his penis was obviously soft. I'm on BCPs (though I'm an IBS sufferer, so I'm always frightened I'm not absorbing them), but I wanted to know the truth about a condom that doesn't slip off or break after ejaculation, but nonetheless stays on too long. I feel stupid that I didn't realize he had come, and the risk of spillage isn't one I would have wanted to take.

I had a chat with him about it, and he was kind but didn't seem to think there was a reason to worry. What do you think?

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Robin Lee
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Hi gingervitis,

If the condom stayed on his penis when he withdrew, there's a minimal risk that anything spilled. The risk for remaining inside the vagina after ejaculation without changing condoms is that the condom will slip off of the softening penis and remain in the vagina. Since this did not happen, it's unlikely any of his semen ended up in your vagina.

Just a quick reminder that condom failure would also increase the risks of STI transmission, not just of the possibility of pregnancy. Just in general, do you get regular STI testing

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Robin

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gingervitis
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Thanks for your message, Robin. Yes, I'm tested regularly. I'm currently living in Europe, though, and when I asked my new partner about his last screening, he was shocked—he said that wasn't something people worried about here. For an American overseas, it's a bit of a culture clash.
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Heather
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Well, it's not like there aren't STIs in Europe (just as prevalently in most countries, mind), nor that Europeans don't also get tested.

So, I'd say this person's reaction has less to do with what Europeans do and think and probably more to do with this individual.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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gingervitis
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Hm. That's interesting. And sort of rattles my comfort with him.
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Heather
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Well, it's not like someone can't change their mind or their habits about testing.

So, if you want to keep seeing this person sexually, why don't you just talk about this with him, including asking him to start getting tested?

You can certainly have a limit for yourself about only being with partners who do, if you want to: you'd hardly be the first person to do that. (I have limits myself around that, have for decades.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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gingervitis
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Member # 96337

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Heather,

I spent some time with this
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/safe_sound_sexy_a_safer_sex_how_to
and am grateful I asked.

I'm sure I'm one of your older readers, but you guys have been such a great resource to me as a teen in the South and now a young woman abroad, on days when finding other people to talk openly and honestly (and in English) with is a struggle.

Many thanks. gv

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You're so very welcome. [Smile] Glad to be of help!

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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