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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Virginity and Pregnancy

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Author Topic: Virginity and Pregnancy
ME1229
Neophyte
Member # 107890

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First off, I just want to say I'm so glad I found out about this website, it has by far been the best thing I've read.

Secondly- here's my problem: I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and finally decided that I was ready to lose my virginity to him. I do not regret my decision, and am completely happy that I did and feel as though I made the right decision. However, I have been stressing myself out worrying whether I could be pregnant or not. I don't know whether its because I'm not familiar with sex so I just assume anything can happen or I have a legitimate reason to be this freaked out. We have had sex twice, both times we used a condom properly, and I'm on the pill. I don't have reason to believe there could be any way i could be pregnant but I've been having really weird spotting, cramping, and breast tenderness that normally I don't have before my period comes. Because of these reasons i have literally had a melt down thinking i was pregnant (which i know is ridiculous).
I think it would be naive not to realize that there is a risk every time we have sex that I could become pregnant, but at what point should we worry about this? I don't think its healthy that I've been worrying about it this much but I'm so scared that I could be pregnant. Its gotten to the point where neither of us are interested in having sex until after I get my period or we can get the Plan B pill as another added security measure.
Am I worrying to much?

Posts: 3 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Welcome to Scarleteen! Glad to hear you find the site helpful. [Smile]

You are right: there is never no risk of pregnancy if you are having sex. However, if you are using both the pill and condoms, and using them correctly, then you are as safe as you can be.

Worrying never helps, but as long as neither of the methods failed or were used incorrectly, there is also no need to. If you find that you are super worried even though you are using methods of protection that we know to be very effective, then it might be time for you and your partner to sit down and re-evaulate if you really are ready for this type of sexual activity. It is totally okay to take a step back if you find that you just can't handle htis right now.

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-joey
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 8995 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ME1229
Neophyte
Member # 107890

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That probably is what needs to happen. Thank you so much, it makes me feel a ton better!
Posts: 3 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Do you need any help with talking to your boyfriend about this or are you all set? It sounds like you and he are on the same page with this, but I just wanted to check in.

And, for future reference, when or if you are feeling ready for and happy about engaging in these kinds of sexual activities again, know that Plan B does the same thing as daily birth control, so would be unnecessary for anyone taking their daily birth control properly.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ME1229
Neophyte
Member # 107890

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Yes, he and I are very much on the same page when it comes to talking about that. He wasn't a virgin when we started dating, but he had only had 1 other partner, and they had only had sex once.
As far as the Plan B goes, that does clear things up a little. I assumed that it was more of just an emergency spermicide type of thing.
I really do appreciate it!

Posts: 3 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jul 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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Glad to hear I could clear things up for you.

And glad to hear you and your boyfriend are in agreement on this. [Smile]

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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