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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » How can I get "horny"?

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Author Topic: How can I get "horny"?
Rowan Nicole
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Member # 107620

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Whenever I want to masturbate, I'm never "horny" and it takes a while to get aroused, I guess you could say. So how can I get "horny'???

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We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. — Dr. Seuss

Posts: 10 | From: Obviously Somewhere | Registered: Jun 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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Hi Rowan Nicole,
Are you asking how you can become physically aroused, or how you can become mentally aroused, or both?

Both those things are so individual that it's really something you need to figure out for yourself through trial and error. In terms of feeling aroused mentally, some things that some people find helpful are fantaisizing, reading stories they find sexy, looking at pictures they find sexy, and so on.

Is this what you're asking about?

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Robin

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Rowan Nicole
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Both, I guess. And yeah that's what I'm asking about.

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We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. — Dr. Seuss

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Robin Lee
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So, what do you feel like you're missing with your mental and physical arousal? What do you think about the things I mentioned that some people find are part of their arousal--fantasizing, etc? What I listed is by no means all of what people find arousing, but it can be a place to start. Does it feel like it's a place to start for you? Are there things that you see or experience that you find arousing that you could incorporate into your masturbation?

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Robin

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Rowan Nicole
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Maybe, it's just hard because my stuff is on the computer that I share with my brothers and dad. I like reading "erotic" novels and stuff but those are online and they're very difficult to hide.

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We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. — Dr. Seuss

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, you know, if you want to masturbate, then you're likely already feeling sexual desire: that's just not something we'll want to do if we're not, you know?

Really, there's not much, if anything, we can do about the logistics of having private things on the computer in a shared home, save suggesting you ask if you can have that privacy, like the ability, for instance, to lock a folder for yourself with a password.

But ultimately, this is one of those things where if it can't happen as you like, it can't happen, but thankfully, life will go on. In other words, any of us will be okay if we can't access erotica we like, or have the ability to get excited to masturbate, even if either of those things are a temporary bummer.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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