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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » How do I masturbate alone?

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Author Topic: How do I masturbate alone?
evesforeva
Neophyte
Member # 57605

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Just noticed it's National Masturbation Month as I was posting this, so tis right on time [Smile]

I've recently gone through a dry patch with no sexual partners since September when I left school on leave. I don't have a super high libido, so it was not much of a concern until a couple of months ago when I started getting really horny. I've noticed that I can't seem to get very much sexual pleasure out of anything until after I've been making out with someone for a while. This poses a problem with my attempts to masturbate.

I get turned on, but touching myself feels weird. I tried nipple stimulation, which feels great with another person's tongue, but is kinda lacking when it's just my wet fingers. I couldn't think of anything I could do with my mouth that would seem even a little bit sexy to me; eating is just food, and I don't want to kiss my pillow.

When I think of things I might find sexy alone, I draw a blank. I fantasize about kissing, nipple stimulation, intercourse, oral sex, and cuddling, but all of these things require a second person.

How can I handle this sexual frustration? Do I need to broaden my view of what masturbation is? Or work harder at finding someone to do? Put up with it, and gain some patience? Something else entirely?

Thanks for reading, and Happy Masturbation Month!

Posts: 20 | From: Stanford, CA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I think the answer here is that, over time, you figure it out.

And sounds like figuring it out will probably involve finding some ways to get turned on without making out with someone for a while first. If and when you have a sexual partner again, that'll probably benefit you, too, being able to come to even making out already at least a little turned on.

Maybe this is about identifying fantasies for you, about finding or making a great space to be sexual in, about exploring sex toys, digging a bit deeper into your own sexuality to find out more of what it's all about: maybe all of those things, maybe more.

With fantasy, btw, you can think about things only someone else could actually do without doing those things. In other words those kinds of fantasies are often still arousing or fulfulling for the people having them, even when what they're doing with masturbation aren't or can't be those exact things. It's kind of about really sinking into your imagination and letting go a bit so that you don't really feel a big disconnect between what you're fantasizing about and what you're actually doing: like they get more mushy. Like, with fantasies that have a second person in them, that person is in the room in the vividness of your imagination.

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pyrotech
Neophyte
Member # 107386

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Hiya Arthur, pyro here, let me unload some knowledge I have from the same experience...

Ok, first off: Lube, lube, and more lube. One of the better kinds you can use is hand lotion (Aveno, ECT.) There's also olive oil, but that can get a tad expensive, plus its not a good idea to use it for anything besides using your hand.

Next, toys: Oddly enough toys for guys can be a bit harder to make/find then stuff for guys (I'm assuming you are a guy because of your username) I found a method that works pretty well, just get two kitchen sponges, a sports drink bottle or a can of Pringles (Don't use a water bottle, there made from thin plastic and the noise they make is horrific.) and a pack of disposable latex (or some kind of rubber if your alergic.) Just cut the bottles top off so it's a cylinder rather than a cone, or cut the can down to the right size, run the sponges through hot/warm water till their a pleasant temperature, put a glove between the soft parts of the sponge, put them in the cylinder, and pull the neck of the glove over a little bit of the side. Ta-da! You have something reliable and reusable (Well....not the glove obviously, but the rest of the setup is!)

And finally, porn: Now I don't know you as a person, what kinda stuff your into or if your part of a religion that is against it, but if you're ok with it, I recommend just hitting google and exploring. Most of the "media" you can find are:
Video
Pictures
Cartoons (Some find this area kinky, but moving on.)
Comics
Lit Erotica (Erotic literature, stuff like 50 shades of grey.)

One other thing that's optional is erotic online chat-rooms. These things are everywhere, so if that's your thing just look around. If not, what evs.

Hope this helped you out man, and I genuinely hope you find someone soon.

Cheers!
Pyro

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pyrotech
Neophyte
Member # 107386

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On a side note......I just realized I misread "Author" for "Arthur" And kinda feel like a jackass. Sorry if this was a complete waste of time.

Cheers!
Pyro.

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
evesforeva
Neophyte
Member # 57605

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lol pyro, you don't sound like a jackass. I thought it was funny/cute cus I identify as a cis-woman and my username is actually evesforeva. Very creative DIY sex toys. Though not everyone named Arthur would be a guy, and not every guy has a penis. When you assume... [Smile]

I made an assumption too that you would know that I already have sex toys, lube, and bookmarked porn. The porn is titillating(ish) but I've had trouble finding woman-friendly stuff. ("Woman-friendly" porn isn't really porn. Apparently women don't like sex.) I bought just enough sex toys to realize they don't work for me. ("You want one that DOESN'T vibrate? That's SMALL?" Turns out you can surprise a sex toy seller.) I got a massive tube of generic Walmart-brand lube (cus I'm cheap) that will probably last me until the day I die. I use it to put tampons on.

I have been using porn, and it works well enough that I don't need lube. (But lube is awesome, and you should recommend it whenever someone so much as thinks the word dry.) But I'm not really getting any satisfaction from it. I need to add something additional to that, but I haven't yet figured out what works.

Posts: 20 | From: Stanford, CA | Registered: Mar 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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