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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Ejaculation problems.

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Author Topic: Ejaculation problems.
pyrotech
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Member # 107386

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Hi, this is my first post here.

Ok, here's the issue, I'm 17, live in California, and have a girlfriend (obviously not gonna use real names so let's call her Kira for now.)

Kira and I have been together for a almost 2 months, she's almost 19, and isn't anything close to a virgin. About a month ago she took my virginity and we've had sex 3 more times since then.

Now here's the problem: I haven't ejaculated during sex even once. Now don't get me wrong, I really do like her, and the sex feels AMAZING, but for some reason, no matter how hard we go at it, or how she stimulates me, I can't come.

I haven't been to see a doctor about this and my parents don't even know about it, I mean, I can't just walk up to my dad and say, " Hey pops, I've been having some issues in bed, got any tips?"

I have no clue if this is a good or bad thing and I could use some answers, so if you can help, thanks.

Cheers!
Pyro.

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
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Hi Pyro,

Few questions- do you feel worried or nervous during sex about "coming"? Are you able to ejaculate at other times, like if you masturbate or having wet dreams? Do you feel like you reach orgasm during sex, even though you don't ejaculate?
This article explains more about the last one if you're not sure what I mean:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/sexual_response_orgasm_a_users_guide

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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pyrotech
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Member # 107386

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Alrighty,

First off, no, well, my first time yes, but the other times no.

Second, I am able to ejaculate during masterbation, I don't know about wet dreams because I've never had one.

And finally, sort of. I feel like I'm coming close, but then it just recides back to "being into it."

I'll check out the link as well, thanks for that.

Cheers!
Pyro.

--------------------
Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
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Someone might correct me if I'm wrong, but my feeling is that if you ejaculate when you masturbate, you probably don't have a health problem that you need to see a doctor about. Having said that, if you remain concerned, there's no harm in getting a check up.

It's possible that you haven't ejaculated yet because you're still fairly new to sex and getting used to the sensations of it. It's great that you're having a lot of pleasure anyway and not feeling nervous anymore, because anxiety itself can prevent orgasm. I suspect that if you give it time and experiment with different ways of having sex, it may just happen for you.

Have you been able to talk with your girlfriend about it?

--------------------
"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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pyrotech
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Member # 107386

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We have talked about it once actually, she wasn't too concerned about it but I just want to be sure.

Cheers!
Pyro.

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Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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Hey Pyro,

I concur with Eryn here that this likely isn't a medical concern as you're physically able to ejaculate with one kind of sex: masturbation. So, it's likely just a matter of experimenting and seeing what kinds of partnered sex might have the same effect on your body. Key here is to not be stressed about it. I'm glad to hear your girlfriend isn't putting stress ony ou about this, as it really isn't a bad thing. [Smile] So long as you're enjoying sex otherwise, sounds like everything is okay here.

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Robin

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pyrotech
Neophyte
Member # 107386

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Thanks Robin, this helped my concerns about this whole issue.

Cheers!
Pyro.

--------------------
Cheers!
Pyro.

Posts: 32 | From: California | Registered: Apr 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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