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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » an orgasm before or after to make first time intercourse less painful?

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Author Topic: an orgasm before or after to make first time intercourse less painful?
thisiswatching
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Me and my fiance are trying to have intercourse for the first time. I read the articles about how being aroused and relaxed are important, and how it still might be uncomfortable at first.
The first time we tried, it was definitely more than uncomfortable. I couldn't lower myself onto his penis more than 1 cm and then I felt like there was a wall there blocking going any further. I was pretty aroused (at least before being in pain) because before we tried intercourse we had outercourse and I had an orgasm from that, and also after we gave up on intercourse for the day, I had another orgasm from outercourse.
I know I have a low pain threshold (I cried a bunch when I had my first and only pap smear), but I have had a tampon and a finger in my vagina, just nothing that wide as a penis.
I wondering specifically what will make my vaginal muscles open up the widest-- being aroused before having an orgasm or after having an orgasm? I want to try again but figure out how to make it the least painful.

Posts: 4 | From: Baltimore, MD | Registered: May 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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Often having an orgasm before trying intercourse can help make sure people are relaxed enough for vaginal entry, but there's no rule, so experiment a bit and see what works for you. If you haven't, you might also want to see if a different position helps. Sometimes certain positions aren't comfortable for someone, so it will likely take some trial and error before you figure out how your two bodies fit together.

Can I ask, though, how it's felt for you having a finger in your vagina? Is that also uncomfortable? If not, you might want to take a break from trying intercourse for a bit and see how two fingers feel, and three, and then if that feels good, then go back to trying intercourse.

I'd also encourage you to read through this piece: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

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thisiswatching
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Thanks for the link and the response... A single finger did not feel uncomfortable-- for me it didn't feel like too much, just a little on the pleasant/pleasurable side. But I've never tried seeing how multiple fingers feels, so that is a new idea to try first before intercourse.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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And you've already checked in with a sexual healthcare provider to be sure this isn't about something like an infection, or some other issue that might need treatment?

IOW, when you had your pap, you asked about this?

[ 05-11-2013, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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