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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Herpes.

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Author Topic: Herpes.
nomnomgaara
Neophyte
Member # 107472

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Okay, I'm going to start this from the beginning.

Last Saturday, I had unprotected sex with my casual partner. We did use protection initially, but the condom split. He also went down on me. I was aware he had a small cut on his penis, but that was a few weeks ago, and it had healed. I went and got the morning after pill, but on Tuesday I began to feel uncomfortable down there. I noticed a small cut, and began to have difficulty peeing. I went to the doctors on Wednesday, and was given antibiotics. On the Saturday, I developed lesions, and it became so unbearable to pee, and such severe pain, I had a panic attack and ended up in hospital. I was given medication for herpes and clamidiya, and I was given some coedine painkillers.

Skip to today, more lesions, unbearable pus and the inability to pee. I went to the doctors, and she confirmed that I have herpes. I have an exam on Thursday and I currently can't leave the house. I have rehearsals for this exam today and tomorrow, but I can't even face leaving the house. I've spoken to my partner, and he last got checked a month ago and it came back clear, and as far as I'm aware he's only had sex with my in that time.

If I'm honest, I'm terrified. I'm only sixteen, and the fact I've got this exam only makes this worse. My mum is obviously upset, not just because I have herpes but because she's scared of later implications. I feel like I've let her down, and more importantly I've let myself down. I've made a mistake that I now have to live with, and if I'm honest I don't really know how I'm going to be able to deal with that.

I know the outbreak should go down in a week, but do you know anything I can do to minimize the pain/make it easier for me to deal with NOW because I really can't afford to fail this exam, and I can't reschedule it either.

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Have you seen this already, nomnomgaara?

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_feel_dirty_and_irresponsible_because_of_genital_herpes

Or this: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/this_is_about_genital_herpes

If not, these two might help clear some things up, including things like long-term health concerns and emotional issues around genital herpes.

In terms of the pain the outbreak is giving you, you can see if warm baths help you out, and make sure you're wearing loose clothing made of natural fibers. Unfortunately, if you've already started taking a medication for herpes, and that's not shortening your outbreak, and painkillers also aren't helping, there isn't a lot left to do save waiting this out. [Frown]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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nomnomgaara
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Member # 107472

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Yeah, I read your article about the stigma surrounding Herpes, and it did make me feel a bit better, thanks [Smile]

I don't know, I just feel like I've really let everyone down. I'm normally very careful, and I made one mistake and now I've got a virus for life. It's not so much feeling dirty, although I'm not a bit conscious about the fact if I ever want a long term relationship I'll put people off with it, I just feel like an idiot :/

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Well, it may or may not have had to do with that "one mistake."

Condoms, unfortunately, literally don't do half the job, pretty much, with herpes or HPV that they do for fluid-transmitted infections like HIV or Chlamydia. So, even if you hadn't had a condom issue, with a partner who had the virus, the chances of transmission were pretty good, about 50/50, really, even with condom use and no condom failures.

I don't see this as having anything to do with how smart or not smart you are: when we engage in sex with other people, we risk STIs. It's just a thing. ideally, we do all we can or what we can to reduce those risks, but nothing we do can get them down to zero.

By all means, it may be that moving forward, there are things you can do to better reduce risks you haven't been doing, like using protection with oral sex, learning to use condoms better, maybe getting tested with partners so you know the deal first-hand rather than secondhand. But this happening still doesn't = you, stupid, I don't think.

[ 05-07-2013, 09:30 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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nomnomgaara
Neophyte
Member # 107472

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I guess so. Thanks for the help [Smile]
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Of course. Also, if you haven't called your doctor yet to tell them how much pain you're still in, I'd do that. It may be they can prescribe something for you to manage it that they haven't already, or that they have other things you can try at home I just don't know about.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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