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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » My bf has a foot fetish

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Author Topic: My bf has a foot fetish
Natasha34
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Member # 107284

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So I started going out with this dreamy boy a few months ago, but recently we started to talk abut sex and he confessed that he has a foot fetish. I really try to satisfy him but I really don't know what to do I'm not an expert when it comes about normal sex and having that I really don't know what to do
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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HI Natasha34 and welcome to Scarleteen,

The only person who can tell you how to satisfy your boyfriend's desires is your boyfriend. None of us can know what will make any individual happy.

Have you shared your uncertainties with your boyfriend and let him know that you're really not sure what to do?

This is true for any sexual activity.

I'm also not sure what you mean by normal sex. Maybe you mean sexual activities that are more commonly talked about? All those are are sexual activities that are more commonly talked about, and again, with those, there's no one way to do them that will make everyone happy as individual sexual needs and desires vary greatly.

So, if you haven't already, a good place to start with this would be to talk with your boyfriend. What do you think?

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Robin

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Natasha34
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Member # 107284

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I mean he is kind of new in this area and it makes it so hard because he does not know what he is really into. He knows he likes feet. That's it so when he doesn't wanna experiment I feel like I'm making him unconfortable
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Sounds like you both are fairly new to this -- and you certainly are to each other -- so experimenting is how figuring out sexual interactions with someone goes!

In other words, this is how we learn what we and others do or don't like, by exploring and experimenting.

And when we don't want to do that, that's okay: then, at those times, we choose to do something other than be sexual with each other OR only to do things together we've already established we enjoy and both like.

Mind, if experimenting and exploring isn't something that's actually pretty fun for everyone, it can also be something to check in about and evaluate. Because sometimes, that's about people just not being that into each other, or in the right space or time of their lives to be sexual together, or something else being up.

(If I'm misunderstanding and you're saying ALL he likes sexually is feet and doesn't want to explore anything else, then by all means, you may just have to figure out if that works for you and this is a partner who is a good fit for what YOU like and want to do.)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Natasha34
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Member # 107284

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I just don't know how to tell him this without it getting awkward and weird between us. Our first time was, really, by accident, we didn't plan it but it was really good, but know that he has told me about his fetish, he has become a little selfish. I don't know how to explain to him how I feel without hurting him
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Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
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Have you seen this article? If not, it's a good place to start with gathering ideas for how to talk about sex with your partner.

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

You can't always control whether someone's feelings will be hurt, but you certainly can control how you say things and what you say. A good place to start might be to tell him that you enjoyed the first time the two of you were sexual together, and that you'd like to do those things (whatever it was that made the experience good) again.

How does that, plus the ideas and perspectives in the article, sound to you?

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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