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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Readiness for First Time Intercourse - How Sure Can One Be?

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Author Topic: Readiness for First Time Intercourse - How Sure Can One Be?
Member # 106139

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This is a great website with a lot of really helpful information - so glad I have found it!

I am in my mid twenties and only developed an interest in looking for a partner a bit over a year ago. I went on a few dates with different guys, became fast friends with one and we officially started dating 1-2 months later. We've been together for 8 months, and have an awesome, close relationship.
We both are more comfortable taking things slowly and being sure we are ready before moving to another level of intimacy. Our pace is up to me, since I'm the 'slower' of us [Smile] He has had a bit more experience, which we've talked about and that has been helpful for me as well.

My question is just how 'positive' do I need to (or 'should I') feel that I am absolutely ready for vaginal intercourse?

I have read through many pages of this website - articles, Q&As, other posts in the forum... including this one and the links posted in the response:

My partner and I have discussed these issues and plenty more, and are comfortable with our responses. We are planning for a life/future/family together.

I feel slightly hesitant/nervous(?) about making the transition from manual sex to intercourse, but I haven't been able to pin-point any specific reason. I completely trust my partner, and even if something is awkward at first I know we can discuss it.
I have also discussed these matters with my family, and have their full support.

With my own personality, I know I am very cautious about taking big (potential) risks, as well as being uncomfortable doing something I am not experienced with.

My partner doesn't want to move forward until I am absolutely sure I am ready... so how do I know when I am as ready as my personality will be?

Besides the topics listed in the 'Ready or Not?' checklist, are there other questions/thoughts you can suggest I consider?

Thank you [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Patricia H
Member # 103815

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Hi junebug13,

It is my pleasure to welcome you to Scarleteen! Unfortunately, I was just going to step out for the day, but I couldn't resist wanting to answer your post. If it would help, I would love to leave you with a few more related articles and resources from our site to help you out; if you do come up with any more questions and/or concerns, feel free to post them here, and a moderator will be sure to answer them promptly. [Smile]

Driver's Ed For the Sexual Superhighway: Navigating Consent
Hello Sailor! How to Build, Board and Navigate a Healthy Relationship
Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

So these are just a few of the main ones aside from the excellent selection chosen by previous moderators in that prior message board thread you referenced. Depending on how much time you have, you might find it useful to peruse the site (be forewarned: there is a TON of articles and helpful stuff) and look around; you might even find articles that pertain specifically to your situation that we might have missed.

Hope this helps, and thanks again for stopping by! [Smile]

Nolite te bastardes carborundorum. - Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid's Tale

Posts: 234 | From: Hawaii | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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This post may also help you with figuring this out:

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 106139

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Thank you both for your replies and additional resources - there really is such a huge wealth of information here! I've probably gone through around 20 articles/blogs over the last few weeks, and I'm still coming across applicable pages that I hadn't seen previously.

I like the line in the article on Dawson's Creek, that you don't really know if you're ready, only that you are prepared.

I'll be back if I have more questions [Smile]

Posts: 2 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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