Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » dry humping, how do i make it matter

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: dry humping, how do i make it matter
zelda and fitzgerald
Neophyte
Member # 101063

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zelda and fitzgerald     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi.So i am 20 and i am seeing this 37 year old man who teaches in my college and we are taking things really slow because we really like each other but obviously i find it hard to communicate sometimes. so we have been dry humping and he puts his penis on my lower abdomen and it doesnt give me any pleasure at all. i have tried making him put it on my crotch but he prefers going up and up and one time he was just below my chest and it was beginning to hurt and i asked him to stop.
please dont tell me i shouldn't be doing things that dont make me happy, i just want tips or something [Big Grin] [Big Grin]

--------------------
imagine a forest

Posts: 2 | From: russia | Registered: Dec 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Robin Lee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
HI zelda and fitzgerald and welcome to Scarleteen,

Well, our number one tip here is always going to be to communicate to your partner that what the two of you are doing is not doing it for you sexually. That doesn't mean you can't keep doing it, only that if your pleasure is also important that the two of you will want to figure out something to do so that you also experience pleasure. It isn't necessary, or even always possible, for both partners to experience *physical* pleasure (or the same amount of physical pleasure) from everything they do together sexually, though it is important that the partner who isn't getting physical pleasure is getting *something* out of it, such as pleasure over the enjoyment of their partner.

Were you able to communicate to your partner that it hurt when he was on your chest?

I'm not getting a good sense of this: What are you telling him when you tell him you don't want him to hump your abdomen?

We don't generally give specific sex tips here because what works for one person isn't necessarily going to work for another. Pleasurable sex most often includes experimentation, which can be lots of fun. Experimentation is only going to really work though if both partners are on board. Think about it this way: If you're trying to move your body in a certain way that gives you more pleasure, and your partner doesn't know what you're doing, he might start moving his body in a way that completely contradicts what you're trying to do.

How comfortable do you feel communicating your needs and wants to your partner?

You might find these articles helpful:

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body

--------------------
Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
zelda and fitzgerald
Neophyte
Member # 101063

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zelda and fitzgerald     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
thanks for these tips, ill try not to be specific and frame my doubts in a more general way.
but i was able to tell him that its hurting me and he was immediately responsive.
i wonder if he prefers dry humping this way because:
1. he wants to avoid any possibility of fluid-exchange?
2.and what is pleasurable to me might not be for him? wouldnt a harder surface of my body feel better for him than the vagina
i suppose i have to admit that i dont communicate my wants much but im waiting for things to take their course. that works right

--------------------
imagine a forest

Posts: 2 | From: russia | Registered: Dec 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3