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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Am I Too Horny?

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Author Topic: Am I Too Horny?
Tullia95
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Member # 100711

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Ive never posted a topic before, so I hope this turns out well. I was just wondering, me and my boyfriend live an hour and a half away, so we see each other only on the weekends. I have school during the week and he just graduated, so it works out good. But, he recently got a job in Colorado and is gone for about a month, then comes back for about 2 weeks. We had been having sex for 3 months, every weekend before the first time he left. But, he just left for a second time and has been gone for 2 weeks and I am really horny, like I'll be sitting in class and I'll just gloss over and I can't focus at all and it'll last for a few hours. It wasn't nearly as bad the last time he was gone. Is there something wrong, is it normal to have withdrawals, is there something I can do to help myself?
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Onionpie
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Hi Tullia, welcome to scarleteen! There isn't really any such thing as "too" horny. Your libido is just the way it is, there's nothing wrong with any level of "horniness" [Smile] Our libidos also fluctuate throughout our lives, so it's not unusual to find that at some times, you feel that your libido is higher than it may have been a few weeks ago/months ago/years ago/yesterday.

A lot of people find that masturbating can help them satisfy their libido and stop themselves from getting distracted in class or what have you, so if that's not something you do, that may be a good option for you to try out.

If you already do masturbate, and you're feeling like the amount of time you spend thinking about sex is actually impacting how well you do at school, then you can talk to someone who's professionally trained around the subject, like a counsellor or therapist. That's not to mean there's anything wrong with you -- counsellors/therapists aren't about people having anything "wrong" with them, their job is to help people make their lives better and to help learn behaviours to be happier, or to cope with behaviours that make us unhappy. So if this is making you unhappy or otherwise negatively impacting your life, some professional help would be a good way to go [Smile]

What do you think?

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Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey Tullia!

I don't think there's such thing as too horny, (well maybe if it's like a million times more than what you've described). If it feels like it's affecting your studies too much you may want to check other things that might help your concentration, like getting enough sleep and eating well.

Also if you don't mind answering, what about masturbation? If you have sexual energy you want to release, is this something you feel able to do on your own while your boyfriend is away?

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Tullia95
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Member # 100711

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It doesn't make me unhappy, if anything its just annoying. I do masturbate, though not as much as I did his last trip because I'm up late with college stuff and homework. I have a very open relationship with my parents (we talk about everything, literally) and I feel if I started having trouble keeping up with school I could go to them with the issue. I just want to make sure there's not an overproduction of something going on or a risk of me getting some infection, because I am wet pretty much all the time.

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Onionpie
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Nope, no risk of infection, and I highly doubt there's an "overproduction" of anything [Smile] Libidos do just fluctuate sometimes! As Jacob said, other things can affect concentration as well, like not getting enough sleep -- sounds like that might be the case for you at the moment? So if you are able to, you could try to make sure you get some more sleep, and/or you can also set aside some time just for yourself to relax and unwind and give yourself some space to masturbate if you feel like it! [Smile]

It's also important to keep up with other self-care things (masturbation can totally be self-care [Wink] ) when we've got a lot of stress in our lives, and that can help us concentrate some more. So maybe think about ways you might have been neglecting your self-care, and dedicate a little bit of time for making that up! It can be to do with your body (like maybe you've been only eating rice crackers for two weeks, or you're all sore and achey from running around constantly with no breaks), mind (maybe you haven't been giving yourself any time to relax and stop worrying about things), senses (when we're busy we can often be constantly surrounded by activity, or staring at a computer screen for hours on end, and it's really good to be able to get away from that even for just a little bit).

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Tullia95
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Member # 100711

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Ok,thank you. I talk to my parents a lot about my stress and we definitely work on balancing it. I will definitely try to make more time for myself and I will try to make more time to masturbate, because I do enjoy it and I usually feel better when I wake up in the morning. A quick question though. I feel kind of silly cause I'm in biology, but what are libidos?

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Onionpie
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Hey, no problem! It's really great that you have such a good relationship with your parents, and it's awesome that you work together on making sure you balance everything and don't get too stressed [Smile] And no worries, nobody has heard every single word out there, we're always gonna come across a word that we don't know at some point [Smile] Libido basically just means sex drive.
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Tullia95
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oh, thanks. I love this website, it's a great place to let things out that you wouldn't exactly ask as easily as "hows the weather?". I've been on for about 6 months and I love it. Thanks for the help

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Quod in vita facimus est in aeternae resonat

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Onionpie
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My pleasure, and so happy to hear we've been helpful for you [Smile]
Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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