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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Now that I know WHAT it is, how do I deal with it?

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Author Topic: Now that I know WHAT it is, how do I deal with it?
REH91
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Hello Scarleteen! I'm really in need of some good advice, here.

The last year and a half, I have been experiencing spotting on my birth control pills. It started to be annoying (I posted about it here a couple of times) and so my doctor switched me to new pills. Those did help, for a while.

Unfortunately, I have a new problem. According to the doctor, my continued spotting is not due to the pill itself-- but when I do have sex, little blood vessels on my cervix end up rupturing. It doesn't hurt but it's really not a fun time to have blood everywhere both while I'm in bed with my boyfriend as well as for a few days after. It can range from a little bit of pink to a full on, bright red good time.

It was particularly bad this past week. I had a minor freak out about it, because it really is kind of embarrassing. My boyfriend is really okay with it, and he thinks I'm being silly, but he just doesn't really know how to handle it when I am upset about things like this. I don't know how to NOT get upset about things like this.

Have any of you run into this issue before? How have you dealt with it/gotten over the embarrassment of it happening? Any advice is appreciated!

Thanks!

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Heather
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Did your doctor have a rationale on why this is happening?

I'd assume it might have something to do with engaging in intercourse before you were aroused enough, or a partner being too aggressive or both, but I'd want to know what they said first.

It might also be a good idea for us to talk about what you feel the difference is between say, some bleeding from you versus your boyfriend's ejaculate. Are both of them embarrassing? If the blood is and the semen isn't, can you think about why you feel they're so different when they're both just body fluids?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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REH91
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She was rather nonchalant about it, actually. It was one of those "this is why it's happening and there really isn't too much you can do to stop it except not have sex."

I'm not sure why I find it to be so embarrassing-- my boyfriend isn't particularly phased by it. He just doesn't like to see me get upset. I think the reason that it bothers me is because it's not necessarily what I would consider to be "the normal thing." Semen is relatively normal, it's just part of sex. Before probably six months ago, the bleeding wasn't something that ever happened.

I keep telling myself that if this is the new "normal" for me, then I just need to work out how to deal with it, but so far that isn't going quite like I planned it...

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Anna Sophia
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I had a similar issue last time I was on the pill (and since my boyfriend at the time had an actual phobia of blood, it was really Not Good). My doctor told me that the spotting was due to little blood vessels on the cervix rupturing, but also claimed that an increased vulnerability to this kind of rupturing was one of the side-effects of the pill I was on. I don't know if this is the case with all pills, but you could try asking your doctor if your pill could be affecting your cervix, and if the likelihood of bleeding would be reduced by either a different kind of pill or a different birth control method entirely (assuming you can find an alternative method that you're comfortable with).

ETA: female ejaculation also isn't generally considered to be "the normal thing", but it is frequently considered hot. "Normal" shouldn't be the be-all and end-all of what's considered acceptable sex-related body fluids, or indeed acceptable sex-related anything.

[ 06-04-2012, 10:53 AM: Message edited by: Anna Sophia ]

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Heather
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I;m sorry to hear that. Some healthcare providers do a great job when it comes to sex and sexuality. Others, not so much.

I agree that there's nothing any less normal about blood than semen or sweat or saliva. But I also think we should see if we can't troubleshoot a little bit, if nothing else, just for the health of your cervix.

So, can I ask if, when you have intercourse, it is only when you're super-aroused, really wanting that, and also when you're using plenty of lube?

And if the intercourse you're having when this happens involves very aggressive/deep entry? Also, is it happening with every position during intercourse, or only some?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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REH91
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Anna, thank you for the advice, it is comforting to know that this is a problem that others have had and have managed to deal with as well. I was worried that it might just be me!

Heather, I would say that yes, it really is only when I am super-aroused. I can't think of a time when it hasn't been. However, my boyfriend and I don't/haven't ever used any sort of lubricant.

We've been trying to be more careful since this started happening, like not being particularly aggressive. We've been trying to figure out what exactly, if anything, triggers it. I'm almost positive that it happens regardless of position.

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Heather
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Okay, so one thing to know is that when using hormonal BC methods with estrogen, you need more lube, because one of the ways it works is by thickening your discharges, which creates more friction.

And heck, just not using lube period can cause abrasions to the vulva, vagina and cervix.

So, next time up, I'd try using plenty of lube: apply some before you get started, then add as needed. See if that changes anything.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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REH91
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Thank you Heather, I'll bring that up with him. Hopefully that will at least help!
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Heather
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Let me know. If it doesn't we can keep troubleshooting a bit.

Like I said, I think getting okay about this when it happens is important, but at the same time, always having bleeding with intercourse or cervical bleeding isn't a thing we'd want to just let be and not try and prevent from a health standpoint (or hell, from a how many times one has to try and get the stains out of sheets because it's a pain in the bum standpoint), so hopefully we can also get this reduced, at least.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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REH91
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Will do. I'll keep you posted. Is it okay if I just reply in this thread? I know you have a no bumping rule [Smile]
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Robin Lee
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Yes, it's okay if you reply here. You'll be continuing the conversation. [Smile]

Good luck!

--------------------
Robin

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REH91
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A little update!

Things are better, and he is completely understanding. It still happens sometimes but it is nowhere near as bad as it was in the beginning of the summer. We actually realized part of it was that we often had a fan going (he ALWAYS needs a fan going) and since we've stopped that, it has definitely improved-- a small fix! I'm hoping that it keeps this up, but if it decides to go back to what it was doing before, I'll update my doctor.

I do have a bit of an unrelated question, though -- hopefully its okay to ask it in this thread instead of starting a whole new one! I need to start taking a multivitamin (hooray for adult gummy vitamins, seriously) and I just wanted to make sure things would be okay taking that as well as my pills. I don't think there is anything too crazy in it (its a multivitamin and dietary supplement, Target brand).

Also, I'm a college student, and I occasionally take DayQuil/Zicam to fight off the inevitable cold. These are both okay too, correct?

[ 09-24-2012, 02:02 PM: Message edited by: REH91 ]

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Robin Lee
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Hi,

Glad to hear things are going more the way you want them to. I'm a little unclear about why running a fan or not would make a difference with bleeding, but hey, whatever works! [Smile]

None of the things you've mentioned are known to interfere or interact in any way with hormonal birth control. If you want to be absolutely sure though, you can give a pharmacist a call. They have all the up-to-date information on drug interactions, and it can be a good idea to check in with a doctor or pharmacist when taking something new, even if it's just a multi-vitamin.

--------------------
Robin

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REH91
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The fan made things... drier, for lack of a better term!

Thanks so much for everything you guys do here. You help me out every time I ever have a question, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it [Smile]

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Robin Lee
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Ah, I see what you're saying re the fan. [Smile]

You're most welcome. We're glad to help.

--------------------
Robin

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