Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » sex without condoms or birth control

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: sex without condoms or birth control
Erika nicole
Neophyte
Member # 97276

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Erika nicole     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi,
Me and my boyfriend have sex daily and I'm not on birth control and he only sometimes uses condoms but he says he always ”pulls out” but I'm scared what if he doesn't pull out one day because he doesn't notice or something? And I'm so scared because I don't wanna get prego. I don't know what to do ! And when I talk to him about not having sex anymore he gets so mad at me and he watchs a lot of porn he doesn't know that I know though and it makes me feel like my body isn't good enough...

[ 09-11-2012, 11:32 AM: Message edited by: Erika nicole ]

--------------------
Erika ~

Posts: 3 | From: Florida | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
copper86
Peer Ambassador
Member # 95710

Icon 1 posted      Profile for copper86     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First off, I understand how you feel about being nervous. I'm usually worried about pregnancy even if I hadn't had a risk. However, though pulling out or withdrawal, in perfect use, is 96 percent effective in preventing pregnancy, it is a really good idea to use condoms in order to better prevent it. Are you interested in using birth control? Birth control methods like the ring and the pill have high effectiveness ratings and can be obtained with a prescription.

There is an article here called "The Buddy System: Backing Up Your Birth Control With A Second Method." It has listings of effectiveness ratings of one birth control method used alone and ratings for paired birth control methods (like withdrawal and condoms).

When was your risk? You could also use Emergency Contraception if you feel like that would be something you'd like to use.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling down about your body. You know, I think everyone struggles with body image at some point or another. What are the things about your body that you like? What about personality traits and what you like wearing, like jewelry and clothes? Try thinking about those things next time you feel upset.

[ 09-11-2012, 11:53 AM: Message edited by: copper86 ]

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Erika nicole
Neophyte
Member # 97276

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Erika nicole     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Would I have to go to a doctor to get birth control? And what's emergency contraception?

--------------------
Erika ~

Posts: 3 | From: Florida | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
copper86
Peer Ambassador
Member # 95710

Icon 1 posted      Profile for copper86     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, you would need to go to your own doctor, or to a walk-in clinic.

I'm sorry, but I really don't feel well-versed enough in Emergency Contraception (EC) to explain it well. It's a form of contraception that can help prevent pregnancy if you've had a pregnanvy risk and no birth control was used or if your birth control failed (like if a condom broke, for example). I've tried to paste in an article heree about EC. If that link won't work, go to the "Repro Depo" section at the top of any page on this site and you'll see that article further down the list once you click on that.

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/crisis/emergency_contraception

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Erika nicole
Neophyte
Member # 97276

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Erika nicole     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, thank you.

--------------------
Erika ~

Posts: 3 | From: Florida | Registered: Sep 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
copper86
Peer Ambassador
Member # 95710

Icon 1 posted      Profile for copper86     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You're welcome! If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask; and a more knowledgeable user or staff member will be able to help! I will try to answer as best I can, as well! [Smile]

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Redskies
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 79774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Redskies     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi, Erika nicole. Copper's already started you out with some information; I have a bit more to add that might be helpful for you.

Copper is correct that "pulling out", or withdrawal, is an effective method of contraception when it's used properly. The really important part of that is "when it's used properly". Withdrawal isn't usually considered a reliable method of contraception because most people don't manage to do it successfully every single time. It's 73% effective in typical use: that means that if 100 women use withdrawal as their only method of contraception, over a year, we might expect 27 of them to become pregnant and 73 not to become pregnant. If you don't want to become pregnant, using withdrawal is a lot, lot better than using no contraception at all, but it's not a very reliable method. Here's some more information on withdrawal: http://www.scarleteen.com/birth_control_bingo_withdrawal

If we don't want to become pregnant, the options we have that support that wish are either 1) not engage in sexual contact that has any pregnancy risk, or 2) use one or two reliable methods of contraception. Using one reliable method of contraception makes pregnancy unlikely, and using two makes it extremely unlikely. There's some information here about the many different options for contraception, if you'd like it http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/birth_control_bingo

We always have the right not to have sex with our partner if we don't want to, and we also have the right not to have sex if we don't feel safe from the risk of pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. We have the right to decide that we don't feel ok, safe or happy about sex without reliable contraception. Particularly if we're the person who would be carrying a pregnancy, we have every right to take that risk seriously and be able to protect ourself from it. And usually, if we don't feel ok, safe and happy about having sex, that's an indication that we need to have a serious check-in about whether having sex, or having it in the way we've been having it, or with the person we've been having it, is something that's a positive thing for us or not.

What do You want, ideally, for yourself? Would you want to have sex if you had reliable contraception, or would you feel more comfortable not having sex right now?

You said your boyfriend gets mad at you when you talk to him about not having sex any more. Getting mad doesn't seem like a very safe or supportive reaction. It's not ok for someone to get mad when we're trying to talk about very personal things that only we have the right to decide on, like what happens to our body, including having sex. Would you like to talk about this?

--------------------
The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

Posts: 1786 | From: Europe | Registered: Sep 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
copper86
Peer Ambassador
Member # 95710

Icon 1 posted      Profile for copper86     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Erica Nicole,

I'm just checking in to see how you're doing and if you need anything.

--------------------
"I do the best that I can. I'm just what I am." - Rush (Best I Can)

Posts: 692 | From: Canada | Registered: May 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3