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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Help is seriously needed

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Author Topic: Help is seriously needed
newtosex
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I had sex for the first time last night and we went through all the proper procedures: we did foreplay, we used lube and I was fully relaxed. For some reason when it came time for him to enter me we couldn't get it in. There was a slight pain, to me it was slight pain because I have a high pain tolerance but it was nothing I felt that i need to warn him of, but when he tried to enter it just wasn't going in. At first I thought maybe we needed more lubercation but I really dont think that was the issue as to the fact that I was extremely mosit and we used lube on top of that. Is this normal for the first time and what can I do next time so that he can actual penertrate me? Please help cause i really would like to slove that issue so we can both enjoy sex
Posts: 3 | From: Orlando | Registered: Aug 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
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HI newtosex and welcome to Scarleteen!
A couple of questions:

Was this your first experience with penetration of any kind? That is, have you used tampons, or have you or your partner penetrated your vagina with fingers?

Also, in addition to being relaxed, were you also feeling aroused? Were you feeling any nervousness around doing a new sexual activity?


How was your boyfriend feeling? Was he nervous?
I'm not sure if you've seen these articles, but if you haven't they might be worth a read just to see if they prompt any more thoughts about why penetration wasn't possible.

[url=http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/
first_intercourse_101]First Intercourse 101[/url]


From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
newtosex
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Member # 96483

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Well it wasn't my first penetration as i had tried to wear tampons a few years back and it turned out very painful, even with my pain tolerance being high then so discontinued my usage. However i have never done finger penetration, alway clitoris simulation.

I would also add i was very aroused and ready for sexual activity. I was not nervious as we had been drilling myslef for the moment. Not so much drilling but we made sure that the moment would not be streeful in any way to prevent me from being nerious or shy in anyway.

He was not nervious either...he was excited about it but i don't feel that affected his performance in anyway.

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Robin Lee
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One thing that I think would help a lot is to start with fingers, either yours or his. This serves a couple of purposes:

It helps get your vaginal opening used to penetration. It can often be helpful to start with something that is smaller than a penis, such as a finger, and work up, such as with multiple fingers, both in general and before vaginal intercourse. This doesn't just apply to the first time, either. Many people who have vaginas find it helpful to warm up, as it were, with fingers or sex toys before engaging in vaginal intercourse.

Using your fingers, and having your boyfriend use his fingers (not at the same time, mind you) also helps both of you learn what the vagina looks like inside. This is helpful both for general knowledge, and for assisting with penetration. The vagina, for example, isn't just a straight tube, but is angled. Seeing what that looks like, for both of you, would be helpful.

You may also find this information on anatomy useful:

Innies & Outies: The Penis, Testes and More

What do you think?

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
newtosex
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Member # 96483

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Ok well during our next adventures into the world of sex, I will have to suggest this idea to my boyfriend.

I hope this help, don't want to cause sexual fustration to myself and to him

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Robin Lee
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Member # 90293

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Completely understood...and this is something you can do on your own before you get together with him. It's good to get to know your own body outside of partnered sexual activity, too. [Smile]

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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