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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasm and Ejaculation (both male and female)

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Author Topic: Orgasm and Ejaculation (both male and female)
Member # 95598

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I have 2.5 questions I'm having a little trouble understanding, even after searching the main site pretty extensively and looking at forum threads:

1) Though I usually orgasm fairly easily, sometimes, I have a really hard time orgasming right at the end of my withdrawl bleed. My boyfriend gave me both manual and oral sex this morning (the last day of my period), and it felt just about as amazing as it always does, but I just wasn't feeling myself orgasming. This has happened a few times before, and we both know that it's okay and the almighty O actually isn't so almighty, so he just keeps going for as long as we're both okay with it. [Razz]

Later on, he gave me oral in a different position that we'd never tried before, and, even though I really didn't feel like I'd orgasmed (though, again, it felt absolutely wonderful), I squirted. First time that's ever happened!

I guess my question is this: Is there a physical reason why orgasming would be more difficult at the end of my bleed, no matter who's trying to get me off? (I should note that it's just as difficult if it's me masturbating.) I've been on the pill since before we started being sexually active, and we are each others' firsts for these activities (if that's at all important). I'm always well aroused and lubricated, and, most of all, I trust my boyfriend with every fiber of my being. Nothing changes... except the withdrawl bleed.

1.5) Being slightly confused, does squirting necessarily mean I orgasmed?

2) This morning, I gave my boyfriend oral. Per usual, he told me when he was about to come, so I stopped. He said it felt like he'd ejaculated, and he went through his usual refractory period, after which I got him off again manually, but the first time, when I gave him oral, he didn't ejaculate. There was no semen in the condom, or anywhere else for that matter. It was pretty mystifying, and, admittedly, a little funny. (Really, the entire morning was, just because of things that normally happen not happening, and things that normally don't happen, happening. We both tend to be fairly good at rolling with whatever punches our bodies deal us during sex.)

I've kind of scoured the articles and questions here, but it's possible I missed some thread or article explaining how orgasm is possible without ejaculation in males. Does someone have info on this, or is there any to be had?

Posts: 81 | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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I don't think anyone has ever used a decimal point for questions before. [Smile]

So, here goes:

1) A lot of people find that where they are at in their menstrual/fertility cycle -- including when it's a cycle created by the pill -- makes a difference in their levels of desire, with sensation, with sexual response and/or orgasm.

So, it might well be that this is the case with you at this time of your cycle.

1.5) No. Orgasm and ejaculation are different things. For people with penises, they're usually interrelated, but for people with uteruses and vaginas, less so, and both can happen without the other, and pretty routinely do.

If you know what an orgasm can feel like for you, you probably know if you did or didn't, regardless.

2) Like I said, orgasm and ejaculation, including in men, are actually different things. So, it can absolutely happen that a guy has a 'dry" orgasm, and can also happen that a guy ejaculates without reaching orgasm.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 95598

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Ah, good to know, and pretty interesting. It's difficult getting past the concept that the two are one in the same for guys when for years they've been shown to me as a "package deal", anyway, but I guess that it happened right in front of me makes a believer out of me! As for women, I've been told the opposite--the two almost never go together! Ah, the strange things mass media tells us become stranger still when you know they're kind of wrong, and then find out that they're really wrong! (Er, at least, not correct for everyone.)

Again, not that it makes a difference--we have wonderful times either way--I was simply curious and amused. Thanks! [Smile]

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