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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Lost my sex drive?

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Author Topic: Lost my sex drive?
southern_girl
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So, I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months and we've been having sex for almost as long. I used to really enjoy it, but as of late I'm just not into it. I'm not really into the idea of sex at all, it's not like I'm just not interested in him anymore. He tries to get me in the mood, and it just doesn't really happen most of the time. Sometimes if we start having intercourse it'll feel really good, but other times it's nothing-no pain, nothing. I feel bad because I don't know what's wrong, and I know he feels bad about it too. I've been under a lot of stress lately, and so has he, and I'm not sure if that has anything to do with it. He thinks it's just because I haven't orgasmed yet, but I don't think that's it because it used to be plenty pleasureable without an orgasm. The closest I came to one my roommate came home and slammed her door (kind of the norm for her) and completely killed it, and after that my interest in sex started going down. I also just started a new prescription of birth control pills, but I'm not sure if that would do it. I can't remember if I lost interest in sex before or after the new prescription started.
Sometimes my boyfriend fingers me and that can feel good, but not the best. So it's not that other things feel better than intercourse. I just don't know what to do about it. Is this drop in sex drive temporary? What can I do about it?

Posts: 7 | From: Seattle, Washington | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
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We actually have a piece on this very subject, here: Where's my sex drive driven off to?

Have a read through that, and if you still have any more questions, come on back.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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southern_girl
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Thanks. I also looked at the article talking about how to talk with partners about sex, but I'm still trying to figure out how to make my boyfriend feel better about it. I think he thinks it's him. We have good, open lines of communication, so once I know what to say it won't be hard. So I'm not sure how to make sure he knows it's not him, it's other stuff going on with me.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, do you think it's possible he might need some more time to increase his own esteem so that HE can know it's not him and take you at your word?

In other words, this might not be about something you can or need to do for him, but about work he needs to do for himself.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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southern_girl
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Yes, I guess that's possible. Next time it comes up I'll talk to him about that.
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southern_girl
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Thanks.
Posts: 7 | From: Seattle, Washington | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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