Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I have gonorrhea and my boyfriend doesnt

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I have gonorrhea and my boyfriend doesnt
sofi
Neophyte
Member # 30271

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sofi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I went to the emergency room recently when I started getting a horrible lower back pain together with fever, nausea and diarrhea (exactly, nothing more). They made me give them a urine sample and a blood test but one of the doctors insisted they take a sample to get std testing, since i was exhibiting some symptoms of an std. I left two hours later, after being given some powerful pain medicine and the symptoms never came back. The following week I received a call from the hospital from a woman saying I had gonorrhea. I was shocked since I had a partner with whom id been with for a month and a half. We were both tested after our last partners and we were clear. I thought about it over and over again and the only answer I could come up with was that he cheated on me (which seemed extremely odd, he hasnt given me any reason to think he would). And then his test results came and he had nothing! Now, I know for a fact he would have it by now if i had had it all this time (we have alot of sex) and that i havent even been near any other guy since I met him. Now its too late to be retested (we both took medication immediately) but I am still worried about that lower back pain i was having...and about the test results. How is this possible?
Posts: 22 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, it's possible that your tests a month and a half ago just didn't catch it, especially if you'd very recently acquired it.

Too, your boyfriend was tested when you were, for sure? Both times? In other words, you're certain he has been honest with you, got tested together, and/or have seen his test results?

Just a reminder, though, that with a new partner, you ideally want to be using latex barriers for at least six months, AND each have tests, AND be monogamous for those six months before going without. Those three things combine are what are known to reduce risks well: testing alone actually doesn't reduce your risks at all. So, from here on out, I'd suggest going back to barrier use until it's been six months and you have each had one more round of tests.

I'd also suggest getting in the habit of those safer sex practices with all partners.

[ 12-21-2008, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sofi
Neophyte
Member # 30271

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sofi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You dont understand what i just said...and by the way all know all this, thankyou, i dont need to be reminded. I came here to seek any suggestions to this strange occurrence. We were both tested after our last partners (i know tests dont prevent stds). I have had no other partners but him, and he is clean. How could i have contracted an std? and if i did have it from before, how come he didnt catch it? I want to know because I believe it is important for us to know whether we ought to make such important decisions (about leaving or staying with a person) based on a test that might not work. I have read about such cases on the internet, but i am frustrated about about the lack of information. Most medical sites seem to avoid dealing with the question of how accurate these tests are. Also I know how the disease is contracted, i know everything about it. And I thank you for your patience in your reply, I am simply frustrated by the mixed messages I am finding.
Posts: 22 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
False positives on cervical CT/GC (chlamydia and gonhorrhea) tests aren't all that common: of all available tests, my understanding is they're all 90% accurate at a minimum, and the best ones are over 99% accurate. (On men, though, or from rectal or throat swabs, CT/GC tests can be less effective than that.)

I don't know if you know what kind of screening you had, but if you do, nucleic acid amplification tests are more likely to be accurate than a gonorrhea culture or gram strain is. If you like, you can ask your healthcare provider which they used. Plenty of docs will use more than one kind of test though to ensure accuracy of testing.

The reason I asked if you were sure he had been tested was to help you try and figure this out, which is what I understood you to be asking.

His not actually having been tested and having it would be one possibility. (If he still hasn't been tested, then neither you or I can know that, in fact, he didn't catch or transmit it to you: you did not say if he had his tests in your presence and thus knew, for a fact, he HAD been tested.) The other, as I also suggested, would be that you were exposed to it just before your last tests, and so it didn't show up yet. In that case, just because you had it does not guarantee he would have gotten it just because you have had sex a lot: exposure to an STI does not always result in a person acquiring it.

Just FYI? We're not psychic and have no way of knowing which of our users understands what the best behaviors are to prevent STIs. And as a health advocacy org, it's our responsibility to assure someone asking us something like this has that information.

So, I ask you be fair in being frustrated I gave you that information, and also bear in mind that we only work here: we don't run other sites, and taking out frustration you have from other sites or this whole situation on us here is pretty uncool.

[ 12-22-2008, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: Heather ]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sofi
Neophyte
Member # 30271

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sofi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thanks, i know he was tested because he showed me some prescription medicine he couldnt have gotten any other way. After alot of racking our brains we kind of just left the topic baffled and i voiced no other concerns to him until he told me his tests came back negative. I dont see why he would lie about that, since i was the one to first get diagnosed with gonorrhea, and it would be pretty odd for him not to have it even if he didnt cheat on me. Im not saying this is not possible, but i want to be sure. And I had a culture done, actually. My only possible explanation is that one of our tests is wrong, but he is not exhibiting any symptoms. I might also add that i had no bleeding or burning sensation when i went to the bathroom. Again, i dont want to do anything rash about this relationship based on the results of a test, which is why i am asking...
Posts: 22 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sofi
Neophyte
Member # 30271

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sofi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Also, I have the dilemma about confronting him or not. It seems that there is a good chance that my test was a false positive, and if it is can you imagine being confronted about cheating from your partner (who has the disease when you do not)? : (
Posts: 22 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bluejumprope
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 40774

Icon 1 posted      Profile for bluejumprope     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I'm having a little trouble following all this and I don't know much about gonorrhea, so forgive me if I'm missing something here, but have you asked your boyfriend if he had sex with someone else?

--------------------
without tenderness, we are in hell. -Adrienne Rich

Posts: 407 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sofi
Neophyte
Member # 30271

Icon 1 posted      Profile for sofi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yes, that is my whole point. He claims he hasnt, i have no reason to disbelieve him and his test came back negative
Posts: 22 | From: Florida | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

Icon 1 posted      Profile for orca     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
As Heather said, false positives are not very common, but if you are worried that there is another problem going on that isn't being addressed or noticed, then you may want to see your doctor. I would suggest that you anyway get in to see your GYN to get retested after you are done with the medication. You can call up the office, explain the situation, and they can let you know when to see the doctor. Alternatively, you could set up a STI testing date with your partner and both of you could go down to your local health department to get tested together. That way, you will ensure that he did get tested, and when the results come in (and do ask that they mail a copy of the results to your home so you can have it for future reference and to show to your partner), you can share those with one another.

This is pretty early in the relationship. If you are worried that he's lying about having been faithful or about getting tested, then now is the time to have that serious talk with him. This is your health that's at stake here. Relationships can come and go, but you are stuck with your body for the rest of your life (well, until we have robotic bodies like something out of an Isaac Asimov novel). If you can't communicate with him this early on about safer sex practices and sexual healthcare, how do you expect the rest of the relationship to go?

Would you like us to talk with you about how to go about having those conversations? We could even try role-playing back and forth. As cheesy as that sounds, sometimes it can be helpful.

--------------------
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
On a looooooong shot, there's a chance that he could have been subclinical, meaning he had the infection, but no symptoms. And men can also clear the infectious without treatment on some occasions (but not most!!!) just because of how their anatomy is. So there is a chance he could have had it, not known it, gave it to you, then cleared it on his own while your case got worse.

That doesn't exactly explain why his test didn't come up positive. It should have, unless he peed right before testing (assuming he didn't get swabbed).

Anyway, you both need to do some more talking.

--------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dentonsgirl01
Neophyte
Member # 50043

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Dentonsgirl01     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am having this same situation right now where I have Gonarreha and he does and i have not cheated on him and i really dont understand how i have and std but he doesn't any help?

--------------------
Melissa

Posts: 1 | From: Springfield | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Onionpie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 41699

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Onionpie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi Dentonsgirl, if you need our help, it's best to make a new topic by pressing the button on the top right of the page (above "my profile"). That way, it will be easier for us to know that you need our help and to see when there are new replies. Thanks! [Smile]
Posts: 1311 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
firepixi
Neophyte
Member # 95449

Icon 1 posted      Profile for firepixi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You describe a pretty common situation: one member of a couple with an STD, the other member apparently free of disease. There are several potential reasons and some of your questions refer to them. Before answering those questions, here are the usual explantions.

a) Your gonorrhea test result is falsely positive. With modern tests, this is uncommon, but it's possible.

b) Your partner's test is falsely negative, i.e. he is infected but the test missed it.

c) You have had gonorrhea for 5 months (yes, that's possible) and by luck your partner hasn't caught it yet. I don't think this is likely; your new symptoms suggest a new infection.

d) Your partner gonorrhea (and might have infected you), but it went away before the test was done. Without treatment, gonorrhea usually goes away in a few weeks, especially in men; or maybe your partner had antibiotic treatment he isn't telling you about, or he could have had an antibiotic for something else that cured it without ever knowing the gonorrhea was there.

When gonorrhea appears in a relationship that has been going on more than 2-3 months, usually it means one partner or the other has had other partners. But not always. To your specific questions:

1) Your facts are correct. I doubt you have been infected for 5 months; see my comment above.

2) Immunity to gonorrhea is rare. See (b) and (d) above; most likely it's one of those explanations.

3) Yes; see (b). I think this is the case here, given the antibiotic history etc.

4) Augmentin is excellent gonorrhea treatment and amoxicillin is pretty good by itself. However, trimethoprim usually doesn't work. So your own explanation is a pretty good one.

5) Without pain in your lower abdomen or internal pain during sex, PID is unlikely. But if in doubt, it can't hurt to see a gynecologist.

The mystery of who was infected first, and where the infection came from, may never be solved. However, you should talk frankly (but sensitively) with your partner about whether he has had sex with anyone else in the last few weeks.

Most important, he needs treatment for gonorrhea, regardless of his negative test result. Also, you both should be tested for chlamydia and treated for it; chlamydia accompanies 20-40% of gonorrhea infections. Discuss this with your health care provider(s).

Posts: 2 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
firepixi
Neophyte
Member # 95449

Icon 1 posted      Profile for firepixi     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You describe a pretty common situation: one member of a couple with an STD, the other member apparently free of disease. There are several potential reasons and some of your questions refer to them. Before answering those questions, here are the usual explantions.

a) Your gonorrhea test result is falsely positive. With modern tests, this is uncommon, but it's possible.

b) Your partner's test is falsely negative, i.e. he is infected but the test missed it.

c) You have had gonorrhea for 5 months (yes, that's possible) and by luck your partner hasn't caught it yet. I don't think this is likely; your new symptoms suggest a new infection.

d) Your partner gonorrhea (and might have infected you), but it went away before the test was done. Without treatment, gonorrhea usually goes away in a few weeks, especially in men; or maybe your partner had antibiotic treatment he isn't telling you about, or he could have had an antibiotic for something else that cured it without ever knowing the gonorrhea was there.

When gonorrhea appears in a relationship that has been going on more than 2-3 months, usually it means one partner or the other has had other partners. But not always. To your specific questions:

1) Your facts are correct. I doubt you have been infected for 5 months; see my comment above.

2) Immunity to gonorrhea is rare. See (b) and (d) above; most likely it's one of those explanations.

3) Yes; see (b). I think this is the case here, given the antibiotic history etc.

4) Augmentin is excellent gonorrhea treatment and amoxicillin is pretty good by itself. However, trimethoprim usually doesn't work. So your own explanation is a pretty good one.

5) Without pain in your lower abdomen or internal pain during sex, PID is unlikely. But if in doubt, it can't hurt to see a gynecologist.

The mystery of who was infected first, and where the infection came from, may never be solved. However, you should talk frankly (but sensitively) with your partner about whether he has had sex with anyone else in the last few weeks.

Most important, he needs treatment for gonorrhea, regardless of his negative test result. Also, you both should be tested for chlamydia and treated for it; chlamydia accompanies 20-40% of gonorrhea infections. Discuss this with your health care provider(s).

Posts: 2 | From: Australia | Registered: Apr 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
firepixi, we ask that users do not bring up old posts, unless they have a question regarding a similar situation. The original poster hasn't been around in a long time, and you did not add anything other volunteers have not already discussed.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3