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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Wanting to Sell Myself

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Author Topic: Wanting to Sell Myself
Alergnon
Activist
Member # 93204

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Since I was 17 I always wanted to sell myself. To be honest I started to sell myself but without money. I was slowly pursuing this. Before I lost my virginity at 17 I wanted to walk the street before I lost my virginity the thought about sex didn't scare me at all. I went on sites online and started to engage in sexual behavior a few months after I turned 18. I started off with a friends with benefit. Then, went to online web cam. Then, this guy contacted me and I did a lot of sexual things to him not engaging in sex. Then, someone who lived 2 hours away came to my place and we engaged in sex. This was the start of something good for me. I was doing all of this to get money for counseling, but I never sold my body for money because I wasn't like pay me this and I'll do that to you. I wasn't at that step yet. I had no problem getting guys problem was I didn't charge anything for it yet. Now, I am here still thinking about how I could ever make this possible.
Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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I hear you saying you want to do this so you'll have money. Are there other reasons?

When you say "engage in sex" you do you mean vaginal intercourse?

I've heard a lot of people say that it's more selling a service than selling oneself. What do you think of that? Sex isn't all of you, after all.

I'm also wondering if you've considered the legal aspects of this at all? How do you feel about engaging in work that is against the law?

Just a few thoughts that spring to mind after reading this.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alergnon
Activist
Member # 93204

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Yea, there are other reasons. Since no one knows me personally only the town I am from... This is heartbreaking to say... I don't know if it's from something that happened to me, but I feel it is very well connected. Oh, before I go into detail I want to say, if anyone has triggers of any kind... do not read on.


Well, I would get nightmares of being in my parents room at night all the time. I remember everything about it. I remember running to my moms closet and hiding and baryy myself in all the junk and what not and throw it on me. I remember I went through pain hiding in the closet. I would wake up and not remember a thing. Then when I left my family I started to remember and it made sense. My mom would go in the closet to find something and it would be a mess... when a week before she had cleaned it... I don't understand.

I think selling myself is selling what my body can do. I think that sex is an important part of ourselves.

I know it is legal but honestly, what harm in doing something like that. It's almost like a stripper at a strip club and he/she is selling his/her body to complete strangers, isn't legal? It's almost the same thing. Maybe, I should train to be one of them if people say it's not illegal to do because no one is getting arrested for that.

Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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I'm a little unsure of what you're saying. Are you saying that your desire to offer sex for money is because of something traumatic that happened in your past?

I see what you're saying re the connection to stripping but the fact still remains that offering sex for money is illegal. This means you could get arrested, get in a lot of trouble. Also, there are a lot of boundaries that need to be negotiated and much less recourse if something bad happens. These are all things to think about when considering whether or not to do something that you know to be against the law.

I have another question for you: What else do you think you have to offfer besides sex? I suppose I am asking whether you think this is your only way of gaining employment.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Robin Lee
Volunteer Assistant Director
Member # 90293

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I just need to let you know that because sex work is illegal here in the States, where I am and where Scarleteen was founded, and in Canada, where you are, the ways we can discuss this are limited for us legally.

So there may be a point where we have to put the brakes on for this conversation and one of us will let you know when we get there.

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Robin

Posts: 6066 | From: Washington DC suburbs | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alergnon
Activist
Member # 93204

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I understand that it's illegal and sorry for not responding to it sooner, I've been kind "hush hush" kinda mood about what may have happened to me. I'm not sure if it is related to what happened to me or not. I just don't really understand why I want to do this sorta thing.
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Captain Troy Handsome
Neophyte
Member # 93689

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Sorry to revive an old topic, but this didn't seem to be resolved, and if the member is still around, I am curious. Is your interest in sex work because of a financial need, an emotional need, a sexual fantasy, or something else that I'm not seeing. Because your reasons for wanting to do this could be different depending on what your desire is exactly.
What is it about prostitution that you find appealing? Providing a service to others? Feeling attractive? Having sexual experiences with people who may objectify you? The risks involved?
Are you doing this with intentionality having explored other options to meet your need, or are you just trying something, anything, in hopes that it will be what you are looking for?

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Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency.

Posts: 18 | From: Washington | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Alergnon
Activist
Member # 93204

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When I was 17 I had this thought because I was sick an tired of people calling me names and putting me down and telling me I'm not loved. I feel if I walk the streets it will change. It's honestly a confusing topic for me to understand. Yet I want someone to love me and what not just every guy seems that there not interested in me for whatever reason. I don't know if I sound off or confused because I am.
Posts: 517 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Alergnon: I'm personally a bit uncomfortable with this whole conversation. The legal issues and how it pertains to our guidelines are a major piece of that. We make clear in the user registration that it's not within the guidelines for users to post engaging in illegal activity or intent to do so. And that has a lot to do with protecting you, as much as it does with protecting us.

But I also am uncomfortable with it because, as you know, you have a clear history of some very big problems with healthy sexual and interpersonal boundaries and dynamics, know you have mental health issues, and, in a word, even in areas where sex work is legal, you tick a lot of the boxes for the kind of person who would be MOST vulnerable to all of the downfalls of sexwork, an area of work where, even where and when it is legal, is one where it's workers are exceptionally vulnerable.

In a word, we've been talking a lot about how to help you get your life back on track, and, for you -- legal issues aside -- entering sex work only seem to me to be coming from a place in you that's about the wounds of things going as they have, and only seems like a really really good way to derail your life further.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Captain Troy Handsome
Neophyte
Member # 93689

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Honestly, the best way to get people to love you is to love yourself. Prostitution won't change that.

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Hello, I'm Captain Troy Handsome of International Rescue. Please state the nature of your emergency.

Posts: 18 | From: Washington | Registered: Jan 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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