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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Sex, Lube, and Erections

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Author Topic: Sex, Lube, and Erections
Member # 49564

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Hey, im 17 and just recently, in the past few months that is, started having sex with my boyfriend. From our very first time he has had trouble keeping an erection. Recently it has gotten somewhat better. When we have sex, its most often rushed due to parents coming home or places we have to be at by a certain time. I attributed this as to be a cause for his erection problems. He told me that, when he thinks about cuming he cant. Is there anything I can do to help him stop thinking about it some much?

Also, we have used lubricant from the first time. But sex always burns, and he mentions he feels some burning at the tip of his penis, where we squirt some lube in before putting the condom on. We have tried warming jelly, regular gel lube, and sensitive lube, but it still seems to burn. So, the other day we tried sex without the lube and it seemed to burn less, but the burning is still there. What is causing this burning?

There was one time where sex was amazing, I felt continous pleasure, even with the slight burn. We were limited on time then, but he had no problem keeping an erection. We had also used lube that time. I dont understand what we did differently that one time, we have even tried the same position. [Confused]

Wow, sorry for the long message. [Eek!]

Posts: 11 | From: United States | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 36725

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It can be really difficult to not focus on orgasm/ejaculation, but you can talk about that and work together on focusing on pleasure as a whole. Talking about how sex is about pleasure on a holistic scale not just orgasm, so knowing it's totally okay if/when any partner doesn't reach orgasm if sex is feeling good. As well... trying sex when you do have time to really just be together without the rush (times can be few and far between I know) but may make a difference.

Per the burning, have you tried different condoms. For instance, it may be a latex sensitivity rather than a lubricant sensitivity. You could try using a good water based lubricant with non-latex condoms and see if it makes a difference. If not, I'd suggest just going ahead and maybe having a check-up with the doctor on that.

Also, are you both up to date with STI testing? If not, you want to go ahead and do that to rule out the pain from that as well.

"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

Posts: 3429 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jan 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49564

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Yes, it was always my personal rule to get sti testing before I had intercourse with anyone. We were both virgins, but I made us both get tested anyways. Nothing came of it, thankfully.

I never thought about the condoms, because I had always been ok wearing latex gloves. But seeing how its a different and more sensitive part of the body, that could be true. Thank you for the idea. I have a friend who is allergic to latex, Ill see what type of contraceptives she uses.

Posts: 11 | From: United States | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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