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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Lubricant questions

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Author Topic: Lubricant questions
techie
Activist
Member # 61437

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In male-receptive manual sex, does one lubricate their own hands, or the penis? I mean, obviously the other would become lubricated in the process, but which is more important?

And in female-receptive manual sex, and in vaginal intercourse, hands/condom lubricated, or vagina? And on that note, is it the vagina particularly that's lubricated or the vulva in general?

Last question: Is lube expected? As in, if we're fooling around, and I get some lube out in anticipation of some of the aforementioned activities, will he be like "whatwhat why are you using lube? O.o" or will he be like "woohoo some lubricated genital action is imminent!"?

Other lubricant-based knowledge welcome xD Sorry for the questionbomb xD

Posts: 160 | From: England | Registered: Apr 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jacob at Scarleteen
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Hey techie, your lubricant-based questionbomb is more than welcome!

I'm not sure there are clear answers to everything you've asked as lots of people have lots of different preferences and experiences when it comes to when they use lube, where they use lube and if they use lube.

IF someone goes jumping to the expectation that they're entitled to something because you've taken out the lube, I think that's a bit iffy, and I would take that as a bit of a sign that maybe that person isn't as ready as they might think they are to go straight into manual sex this, and it might be worth talking about that and making it a little clearer. However whether or not they will actually think that is sort of down to their own experience and understandings and where they're at.

I'd say with all of this your best bet is actually talking a little to this person about what's good for them... there shouldn't be a wrong answer here, and you shouldn't be expecting to know exactly what feels good for someone without your communicating it with each other.

Maybe just try to find out what, feels good, and adjust your approach accordingly.

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techie
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"IF someone goes jumping to the expectation that they're entitled to something because you've taken out the lube, I think that's a bit iffy,"
Sorry, I was being hyperbolic there. I meant more would it seem an action that would feel appropriate within the context, rather than one that was confusing.

Thanks, though, glad to hear that there isn't really a wrong answer xD

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Just to pipe in with one more possible answer: both!

Not only is this stuff pretty much all about preferences, when it comes to the who-puts-lube-where issues, sometimes the answer is both people in both places. [Smile]

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