posted
let me start off by saying, i havent had sex in months, and i had no intention to. i started my period on the 28th of september, a wednesday, and went camping with a bunch of friends (ON SATURDAY) and my boyfriend, who was a virgin.yes, we were drinking, and i dont exactly remember, but he was sober and he had sex with me while i was drunk. i wanna say it was either late saturday, or early sunday. either the 4th or 5th day of my cycle, WHILE im bleeding. he didnt use a condom, and claims he was only in for 30 seconds. i dont believe him, AND he claims he didnt cum in me. im extremley worried. and dont worry, i broke up with him. today is tuesday, the 4th, and my stomach has been hurting very badly. i thought it may be poop and gas, but ive been pooping and feeling a little better, and i took a laxitive. please help me.. i dont know what to do.. could i be pregnant? according to my calandar, which is usually right, my next period is the 26th and im fertile from the 7th to the 13, and i ovulate on the 12th. please help me, im so scared.
As well, do you want to talk about reporting this assault? If so, let me know, and we're happy to help you with that.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm not talking just about testing for pregnancy, and I don't feel we can even assess that risk. Since you were drunk, and this person had any intercourse at all with you nonconsensually, I don't think we can figure we can count on anything he says. In other words, who knows if he used a condom, who knows if he ejaculated, who knows if it was "only for 30 seconds."
All we can know is that there was a real pregnancy risk, a risk of STIs, and with severe stomach pain, I'm also concerned about your general health, not just your sexual health.
So, my best advice would be to see a healthcare provider ASAP who can do tests for STIs for you, get you an emergency contraceptive, too -- you can reduce your pregnancy risk with EC massively still -- and also look into that stomach pain. (It'd be too soon for a pregnancy test.)
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
he was my boyfriend and i asked. he swore up and down that he didnt cum in me. ive pooped twice today and i feel much better. he was a virgin though.
posted
I understand, but he betrayed your trust in a very severe way, so I don't think it is sound to have any in what he is saying right now. As well, he committed a serious crime, another reason that you need to figure he has reason to be dishonest. I'd not trust what he says about his sexual history either.
Instead, I would do what YOU can, and know you can count on, to take care of yourself and your health. We know emergency contraception works well to reduce the risk of pregnancy: we know trusting untrustworthy people does not. STI tests can tell you for certain if you have an STI to worry about or not: what he says about his sexual history cannot.
This person very much did not take care of you. But you can take care of yourself, and I'd encourage you to do that.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
It's not too late for EC: it can work up to 120 hours (5 days) after a risk.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
thank you so much for the advice. i guess i will go to the doctor, i dont want to explain what happened though, its so embarrassing. even though it happened saturday..and i went between tomorrow and friday, it could reduce the risk? i guess i could get birth control while im at it, this is ridiculous..but ... are my chances high of being pregnant, from what he says about not cuming in me?
posted
You have a few different options. You can go to an urgent care or general clinic, or a sexual health clinic like Planned Parenthood. If you need help finding that local care, I'm happy to help you.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
No worries. Mind sharing your zip code with me?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I do want to make sure you know that reporting means getting an exam and having your health evaluated. In other words, that would be one way to get quick care at no cost to you.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Okay, here are some of the closest providers I found for you. They are all Title X providers, which means they are free or very low-cost.
Shelby Co. Health Dept. 2000 County Services DR Pelham, AL 35124 Phone: (205) 664-2470
Bessemer Health Center 2201 Arlington AVE Bessemer, AL 35020 Phone: (205) 497-9300
Birmingham Center Planned Parenthood 1211 S. 27th Place Birmingham, AL 35205 Phone: 205.322.2121
West End Health Center 1308 Tuscaloosa AVE SW Southwest Birmingham, AL 35211 Phone: (205) 715-6121
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you want to use EC, you want that now, not later. Friday would be too late.
If you are over 17, you can get EC without a prescription at most pharmacies. If you are not, you need one to get it.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Clinics like Planned Parenthood and public health clinics often use a sliding scale, so if you can get into one ASAP, it may not cost you anything at all or more than a couple bucks.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Alternately, do you know someone over 17 who has the money? How about disclosing to your father and asking him for help? or an older friend or sibling?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Unprotected vaginal intercourse poses a high risk of pregnancy. And if you're going to ovulate when you think you are, you're in a higher risk window than you would be if, say, this had happened a week or two earlier.
I think you need to make choices around this with the understanding that pregnancy is something that is a high risk.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I know that really sucks: all of this does.
But what I'd hate to see is you pregnant when you didn't want to be because you got mired down in feeling that suckiness or didn't ask for or get the help that you need. I know it's also tough to take action when you have just been assaulted and are dealing with all the emotional impact of that. But let's try and work together so make sure you get what you want and need, okay?
So, what do you want to do here?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
You're really okay with taking a risk of becoming pregnant and what that could mean for you?
I'm not saying there's anything right or wrong for you to choose here, I'm just making sure that's really what you want.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Except that it isn't. If you want EC, you have 120 hours to use it. If this happened Saturday night, that means that you have through tomorrow.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't know what you meant by your last post.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Tomorrow you can get EC and it still will be highly effective. Not as highly as if you'd gotten it already, but you'd have a MUCH smaller risk of pregnancy than if you don't use it at all.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Just so you know, I'll be around for another hour or so if you want to talk about your feelings with any of this.
Taking care of your physical health is important, but it's just as important for you to get what you need emotionally.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh, I'm so glad about both of those things. Is your Dad being emotionally supportive of you?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
As well, might your dad go to the pharmacy for you right now and get you EC if you want to use it?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'd just really think about if you WANT to become pregnant right now and this way. If you don't, I'd suggest you do what you can to reduce that risk.
You probably don't need me to tell you that becoming pregnant -- and even more so, parenting or doing things like arranging adoption or abortion -- when you don't want to or aren't ready can all be really hard. All the more so when you're young, and then a whole lot more so when it's via sexual assault. That's a LOT to deal with all at once, especially when you can potentially avoid all of that.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
Emergency contraception can work for up to 120 hours, or FIVE days. Not three or four.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic