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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Orgasm and age

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Author Topic: Orgasm and age
Saffron Raymie
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Why is it that people with clitori find that they can orgasm better as they get older and sometimes never when they are teens?

Why is it different for those with penises?

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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KittenGoddess
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It's always tricky to make generalizations about sexuality (orgasm, in this case) and age. First, we really don't have that much in the way of real data to support the cultural stereotypes that we have about it being a direct relationship between age, gender, and orgasm. So to say that the experience (or ability to experience) orgasm is about age on it's own is really problematic. Also, the sex somebody is having is going to be very specific to them and their body. The ways that bodies respond are very individual. Further, since orgasm is very much something that happens in our brains (and obviously brains are different across people), we add another layer of difficulty in connecting orgasm and age.

It is probably more accurate to consider the question in terms of experience and/or knowledge than in terms of age. In other words, as we have more experiences (either with ourselves or with partners), we learn more about our own bodies and minds and about what works for us. Also, as we gain experience, we are better able to sort through the stereotypes and cultural expectations and figure out what's true and what is false.(For example, if you're a fan of the trashy romance novel genre, you probably have noticed that practically every heroine gets off nearly instantaneously with a little vaginal penetration. This is not nearly representative of what works for the majority of women in reality...but because we read these representation, it may influence what we expect to happen.)

[ 08-11-2011, 11:18 AM: Message edited by: KittenGoddess ]

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Sarah Liz

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Saffron Raymie
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Thanks KittenGoddess! [Smile]

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'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

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Heather
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Two other things that often get tracked with this and noted, which is pretty decently supported in study, is a) improved body image/comfort over time and b) improved assertiveness in sexual relationships as well as longer time spent in relationships (which can equal partners having more time to find out what gets someone to orgasm).

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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KittenGoddess
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No problem! You asked a really good question, given the stereotypes that we clearly see and the stories we hear...it just has a far more complicated explanation than what those same stories would have us believe. [Smile]

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Sarah Liz

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Heather
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I'd also not assume that it's only one group of people who have that experience. It's fairly common for people of all kinds of embodiment to experience positive changes in their sexuality or sexual response through life. As well, we might also want to bear in mind that the way male sexuality is so often defined tends to center a lot on erection, so it's easy for people -- including men -- to assume that when and if that changes in older age, that means or must be a negative change, when that isn't necessarily so or reflective of men's experiences with sex and sexuality.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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