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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Oral sex and penetration

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Author Topic: Oral sex and penetration
Member # 49215

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My girlfriend and I had sex yesterday, with penetration. It felt good for her, though it hurt in the beginning (normal right?), but for me it wasn't that good of a feeling. Maybe it was an awkward position or I didn't go really deep, but going in and out didn't really feel that good? Is it supposed to? Second question is, my girlfriend performs oral sex on me, it feels nice, but not reeeally good. I'm thinking that it might just be my penis, maybe it's not that sensitive to oral, and that it might be really thick and my girlfriend's mouth isn't that big. It's kinda a problem because my girlfriend feels like she's not pleasuring me enough and it's her fault, though I'm pretty sure it might just be me, because she's done it to others and they got off pretty easily. These problems are causing my girlfriend to feel not so good about sex, even though it's the first time for penetration(done oral a lot, didn't get much better?). So I'm wondering if that's normal, if it will get better, or whatever I can do. Thanks [Smile]
Posts: 47 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 20094

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Not every single kind of sex is everyone's cup of tea, and that's completely normal - no two people are exactly alike, so what feels really great for one person may not be all that enjoyable for someone else. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or anything wrong with what your girlfriend is doing: it just means there are things you like and things you don't like, just like everyone else. As far as vaginal intercourse goes, it may be that the position you were in wasn't doing it for you and another one might be more enjoyable, so you can experiment with that to see what works and what doesn't (but if you find that you just aren't a huge fan, that's totally okay too).

Same with oral sex; if your girlfriend is using just her mouth, maybe it would help if she used her hands too. These are things that no one can really tell you though, they're things you and your partner have to figure out by experimenting and communicating.

As for the pain your girlfriend was having at the beginning of intercourse, that's not uncommon, but it's usually preventable by making sure that she's totally aroused beforehand and you're using lots of lube.

"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49215

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So for oral not being so great, should I just tell her to try stroking more, and that it's just that I'm not pleasured by oral?
Posts: 47 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27731

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Is it simply that it takes longer or are you not able to finish at all? If its simply that it takes longer then that actually works to your advantage. There are plenty of guys who are too sensitive and finish long before there partner even gets close. Better to be able to last and let her finish first. If however you're not able to get to that point at all then going to a doctor might be a good idea.
Also is this just a problem when you're with her or does it happen when you're dealing with it yourself? If it's just when with her it could very well be an issue with how comftorable you are with what you're doing.

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